


Forgotten Sleep

by RestlessThoughts, SeanSlept



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Amnesiac Barry, Angst, Barry Allen - Freeform, Barry in some hot yoga pants, Blossoming relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, If you look real hard iris and eddie, Leonard Snart - Freeform, Leonard dissappears, Leonard doesn't like yoga, Lisa introduces Leonard and Barry, Litchenburg figures, M/M, No power AU, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Yoga Class, park, remembering, struck by lightning - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-19 06:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 28,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7349245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RestlessThoughts/pseuds/RestlessThoughts, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeanSlept/pseuds/SeanSlept
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry gets struck by lightning and doesn't get Flash powers, but he gets amnesia and doesn't remember the accident or any day following. He forgets every morning and there's yoga class so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of that one movie 'Before I Go To Sleep'. Where a woman goes through a tragic event and wakes up forgetting the previous day. She can't remember what happened but her 'husband' fills her in. She forgets the tragic events every morning when she goes to sleep. You should watch it.

Barry looks around the room confused, this isn't his apartment... This is his childhood room. The one on the West's estate. What is he doing here? Why is it there no snow outside. It's just past Christmas. The door opens and he sees Iris poke her head in,

"Hey Barry. I know you must be confused. Last you remember it was a couple days after Christmas." She spoke softly, and thank goodness for that, his head was pounding.

"That day you returned from Starling. You went up to your lab at CCPD and you were struck by lightning." Barry felt confusion fill his face, he's got a litchenburg figure to prove it, but he can't find himself actually believing her."

"And for the last nine months you have been in a coma. Until last week." Barry nodded still highly confused.

"You woke up and you didn't remember the accident. Which is normal. But the next day you woke up and again didn't remember the accident, or the previous day. Some days you have mild tremors, and head aches, nausea. But other days, you are just fine. Most days you are anxious like you can't stay in one place for more than five minutes." Iris continued speaking. And Barry noticed it. He did feel anxious, not until she mentioned it but. It was there.

"The doctors say you'll get better, but we have no idea if it'll be a couple more days or if it'll be years. They don't forget to remind that you also may never make a full re-." Barry stopped listening.

 _I may never remember the rest of my life. I had just lost nine months, but I may never get another day where Iris or Joe won't have to explain to me what happened._ That makes him panic. _What would I do if I lost them? How am I  going to work? Can I even consider myself an able adult anymore? I'm probably going to be in a nursing home in the matter of years. I can't be alone in this world anymore. What about my apartment? Do I even know why I was in my lab? Was it a day storm or was it night? Who's going to be in my lab?_  Iris stopped speaking at Barry's wide-eyed look,

"Barry?"

He didn't react,

"BARRY!" She yelled and he jumped looking to her,

"Wha-at? What did you say?" Iris rolled her eyes.

"I told you I have a morning yoga class and asked if you wanted to come?" Barry blinked,

_Outside must be so different. I wonder if I went outside yesterday. Or the day before..._

"To yoga?" he questioned and Iris shrugged,

"To yoga, go out for breakfast, the park, Anything." Iris explained and Barry nodded, which got a bright smile from Iris.

"Okay, it starts at eleven." Barry nodded and looked to his phone on the side table. The clock told him it was 8:33am and he nodded,

"Iris?" He looked up to her with a confused look.

"Um, did I go outside yesterday?" Iris sighed and fully stepped into the room,

"Yes, you want to get some ice cream. Yesterday you had tremors, and you couldn't really hold a cone so we got you a sundae and sat at the park." Barry smiled, it sounds like something he would want to do no matter what happened to him.

"Okay. Thank you." He smiled at her as she left the room.

Time to start the day with a hot shower, and hopefully less of a headache followed by some pancakes and finished with yoga. Barry sighs letting the warm water fall over his shoulders, lathering  and rinsing his hair with followed by his body. When he finished he dressed himself in a white button up with a club collar, a light green sweater pulled over top. Drop crotch khakis a white and tan velvet boot and his watch. He'd raced downstairs and began looking around the kitchen to make himself some pancakes, maybe some for Iris since Joe was probably at work already. He heard Iris humming in the living room so he decides to ask,

"Hey, Iris. Do you want some pancakes?" He questioned and she got up entering the room.

"Oh. Um sure." Barry smiled. They had a quick breakfast since it was nearing ten and Iris insisted he gets yoga pants for their yoga class. He was going to argue but didn't have the energy to. When they arrived at the store, they quickly found Barry a pair of dark grey and turquoise yoga pants and some new socks just because they were around.

By the time they arrive to the location of the yoga class Barry's hands began getting tremors, nothing major but it was noticeable from a distance. Iris lead him to a bathroom for him to change, and he did.

"Is this the first time I agreed to go to Yoga with you?" He asked as he exited the bathroom to be met with Iris who was smiling, his shirts in no was matched his pants now.

"Yeah, normally you just hang out at the park or the outside of the building." Iris snickered at the pants.

"Oh. Well I hope it's fun so I can tell my future self that Yoga is fun and I should wear my new yoga pants often because they make my legs look good." Barry joked as they entered the yoga room. They collected some mats and disinfected them as they were for public use, so better safe than sorry. As Barry set their mats next to each other about three feet apart Iris spoke with the yoga instructor,

"Who's that with you? You got a boyfriend?" She instructor spoke with a teasing tone,

"No, Lisa. That's my foster brother. He's the one struck by lighting almost ten months ago." Iris spoke with a hushed tone.

"Wow, and he's okay?" She questioned,

"As good as he's going to get for now, he has amnesia, and forgets each day as he goes to sleep. Sometimes he has like really bad tremors, and feels sick." Iris continued explaining, "You see, he's kinda shaking now." Iris said not looking at Barry, but Lisa was.

"Don't stare, he's not stupid. He's actually very smart." Iris said and Lisa nodded and smiled at Barry when he looked.

"He looks good though. Is he going to do yoga in those nice shirts though?" Lisa questioned and Iris shrugged.

"I don't know. He has those lightning marks all over his chest, shoulders and back, so I don't know if he's comfortable with people seeing them." Lisa nodded.

"I'll ask." Iris tried to stop her but Lisa is a determined woman.

"Hey, You're new." She said as if it wasn't obvious.

"Oh, um yeah." Barry's face gre a light shade of pink,

"I'm Barry. Barry Allen." He said holding his shaky hand out, he tried to stop it but it wouldn't. "Sorry, I-I was um-" Lisa smiled, and took his shaking hand anyways.

"It's okay, Iris told me." Barry smiled glad he doesn't have to explain something he doesn't even understand.

"So, are you going to do yoga in those nice shirts? It's harder than it seems sometimes." Lisa explained and Barry shrugged.

"I-I don't know. Like I got these marks on me. Litchenburg figures." He gestured to his body and Lisa shrugged.

"They can't be that bad." Lisa said finally taking a seat by Barry who relaxed since he doesn't have to look up to her anymore.

        "You w-wanna see them?" Barry asked rather than offered.

"Sure. I've heard of them before. Plus I kinda think they look cool." Barry's blush grew darker as he pulled his shirts off one by one gently folding the fabric.

"Wow." Lisa said admiring the marks, "May I?" she questioned reaching a hand towards the darkest of them on the left side of his chest,

"I-I guess." Lisa's hand gently ran over the mark.

"Well. I think they compliment your cuteness." Lisa winked and got up, "see ya." She said and walked to the front of the class.

Iris came back over to Barry and smiled at him taking place on the mat next to his,

"It's about to start, you ready?" Barry nodded and they all started. Class didn't last long since Barry enjoyed it despite not being able to complete all the moves due to his tremors. Lisa came back over to Iris and Barry.

"So, I'm going out for lunch with my brother, you two want to come?" Iris looked to Barry who shrugged.

"I mean, I guess. I just got to get back in my clothes." Barry said quickly dashing to the bathroom to change again. Iris smiled and shook her head.

"I think he'll like my brother." Lisa said and Iris raised an eyebrow,

"You think? I think Barry is still a little skidish to like someone as harsh as your brother." Lisa rolled her eyes.

"No way, he's not harsh just forward. Plus I guarantee when he meets Barry and knows his story he'll basically change into a different person." Iris looked at Lisa skeptically.

"What's that mean?" Iris asked, and Lisa smiled,

"You'll see." Then Barry came back holding the new socks he had gotten and his yoga pants.

"Sorry to make you guys wait." Barry said bashfully. Lisa shook her head claiming he didn't make them wait, and left for lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I have any spelling or grammar errors pleace comment where they are so I can fix them. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry meets Leonard and develops a little crush, Iris give him an idea about keeping his memories in order. And Joe gives a little intel about why Barry was in Starling.

When they got to Jitters, where Lisa's brother awaits them, Lisa smiled as Barry held the door for both Iris and Lisa. They thanked him and walked over to Leonard.

"Who's the kid?" Leonard asked.

"Lenny, be nice." Lisa said and turned to Barry who was looking at the ground trying to stop the tremors in his hand.

"This is Barry, Iris' foster brother. And Barry, this is my brother Leonard." Leonard nodded and Barry held out his hand to shake it. Leonard looked to his hand and shook it.

"Why's your hand shaking?" he asked and Lisa rolled her eyes.

"Sorry he's kinda blunt." Lisa apologized to Barry.

"It's o-okay." Iris decided to explain.

"He was struck by lightning a while ago, and he sometimes gets tremors." Leonard nodded looking to the nervous brunette.

"Okay." He said finally letting go of Barry's hand, who instantly held it in his other hand as if it was about to fall off and break.

"So, what was it like getting hit by lightning?" Leonard ask and Barry froze for a second but proceeded to answer before Leonard began thinking he couldn't talk,

"I don't actually remember. Apparently I was hit after I returned from Starling City, I don't remember why I was there or what I did there. Iris told me that I was in a coma for nine months, and that I haven't remembered any day that I've woken up. Like every time I go to sleep I forget the previous day." Barry explained as best he could and looked to Iris who nodded with a smile.

"Wow, that's pretty rough." Leonard replied in a softer tone. They all ordered coffee and talked, well Lisa and Iris talked while Barry continued to stare at the table while Leonard stared at Barry. It wasn't that he meant to, he just wondered about him.

"So, Barry and I should get back home. My dad's probably wondering why we haven't answered the home phone." Iris announced and Barry looked up to bid Lisa and Leonard goodbye.

"Bye Iris. Barry." Lisa smiled warmly,

"Bye guys, it was nice meeting you, even if I won't remember you guys tomorrow." Barry said shaking their hands again and leaving with Iris.

"They're nice." Barry smiled as they walked, Iris easily falling in step with him.

"Yeah. I think Len likes you." Iris said with a nudge, and Barry blushed.

"No way. I don't think he likes me. He barely seems to like humans, let alone me." Barry said shaking his head,

"Is that a blush I see?" Iris teased and Barry laughed shaking his head more. Iris gasped and Barry froze, turning to Iris. "Do you like him?" Iris broke into a smile, Barry sighed.

"I don't like him. Even if I did I won't remember him tomorrow." Barry said crossing his arms.

"Then write a note." Barry looked at her confused. "I tried a couple days ago to get you to write yourself a note, but you forgot. I think if you write yourself a note, or record something, it can help with remembering. Write what you did all day before bed." Barry sighed as he opened the door to the house,

"You want me to write a diary?" he questioned with a deadpanned look.

"Yes." Iris said shortly, "It's already two?" Iris said and Barry sighed deciding to follow Iris' idea. He rummaged the house until he found a decently empty notebook. Finally he found one, and began writing.

 _09/29/16  
_  
     _When you read this, don't freak out. I know you just woke up and it's like not Christmas, but you were struck by lightning. Nine months ago you went to Starling city, and when you came back you were struck by lightning. You have this weird form of amnesia that you don't remember the previous day. So, I'm you from yesterday, and I'm writing this so we (Past, present, and future Barry Allen's) can piece together our memory. When, you learn more of what happens add it on. Including everything you did that day._

_Today, I went to yoga. Iris will probably ask if you want to, and you should do it. Like those yoga pants are majorly comfy, plus you made some friends. Lisa Snart, the yoga instructor. She appreciates your Litchenburg figures, and thinks they bring out your cuteness. And Leonard Snart, Lisa's brother. He's kinda quiet and intimidating at first, but I'm sure you may develop a crush on him like I did in the matter of hours I knew him. We didn't talk and he's kinda blunt but, just give him a chance._

_Sorry about my hand writing right now, sometimes you will get tremors, and shake really bad. Don't try to stop it. I have and I currently am trying writing now, but it just makes it worse. The best you can do it just relax and try not to move. You sometimes feel sick for no apparent reason, and you get really bad headaches. I'm not sure how I will react in another storm, if it'll bring back memories, but if any of you future selves have a storm coming, record it._

_Last thing, try to record anything huge, like if you meet someone record it, and explain why you record it. It'll help me, and you try to engrave names and faces into our brains so we can begin the probably long trek to recovery._  
  
        _Sincerly_  
 _Yourself, Barry Allen_  
          
        Barry set the notebook on his bedside table and set an alarm on his phone to look at it before yoga started. He set his stuff down, it had taken him way too long to control his hand writing, it's now almost 6 and Joe will be home soon. This was his best time to question him about why he was in Starling. As if on que the front door opened and in came Joe.

        "Hey, Bear. How're you feeling today?" he questioned as he pulled his shoes off.

        "I'm good, I was um wondering. About like when I was struck, or prior." Barry said awkwardly. And Joe thought,

        "You mean when you were in Starling?" Barry nodded,

        "You didn't tell anyone why you were going, or who you were talking to, what you were doing there, or when you'd be back. You were gone for two days, but it looked like you were planning to be there for weeks. I didn't find out until someone named John Diggle called the precinct asking about you." Barry nodded confused.

        "Okay, thanks." Barry said and ran upstairs to get his computer. He searched and easily found a John Diggle.

        "John Diggle, current body guard of Oliver Queen?" Barry questioned and a thought connected with a distant memory.

        "Oliver, Oliver. Oliver" Barry scrolled through his phone's contacts,

        "Aha! What will I say? I'll just tell him why, wait. He remembers me. Duh." Barry shook his head and pressed call. Three rings and finally someone picked up,

        "Uh, Barry?" A woman's voice, "You haven't called in months." Barry sighed, someone he doesn't remember,

        "Um, Hi. Um, yeah. About that. I don't actually remember who you are." The woman sounded offended but relaxed at the same time,

        "Oh, well. I would have thought you'd remember who I was at least." Barry sighed,

        "No, like when I came back to Central City, I was struck by lightning. And I don't remember anything that happened, I wouldn't even believe I was struck by lighting if I didn't have these marks on me." Barry rambled but continued, "And I actually have this weird amnesia. Every time I go to sleep I forget everything from the previous day. And of everything that happened before getting hit is what happened in Starling City. I actually don't remember going to Starling at all."

        The line was silent, before a quiet "oh" He heard a rough voice in the background. "Felicity? Why are you on my phone?" A small squeak, "Barry called, and he was telling me that he was struck by lightning." "No, I heard that." the rough voice inturrupted.

        The phone was picked up and a sigh was heard, "I'll come over to talk to you." the rough voice answered,

        "I-I okay." he assumed it was Oliver since it was his phone he called, and he assumed the woman he was talking to was Felicity,

        "I might be over really late, or early tomorrow." Barry nodded, "Alright." The call ended and Barry sighed. He's not sure if this information helped or not. but now he's got to add it to his diary.   
  
         _P.S I still don't know why I went to Starling but Oliver Queen is coming to talk about it. Joe says you apparently packed to be there for a while but returned in two days. No one was informed about where you were going, why you were going, or who you were going to talk to. I spoke to a woman named Felicity then Oliver took the call after he found her on his phone._  
  
        He summed it up fast so he could catch some sleep before his guest appeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I have any spelling or grammar errors please comment and tell me where they are so I can fix them. Thank you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver visits and explains what happened in Starling. The information overwhelms both Barry and Oliver.

Oliver approached the house, he knew there was a good chance Barry may have gone to sleep, and doesn't remember the conversation. But he has to talk to Barry as soon as he can. He knocks and waits, a couple seconds later the door swings open revealing Iris, Barry's foster sister. Barry had told him about his mom's death, and his dad going to prison. In the two days he was in Starling he talked about his entire past, about Iris and Joe. His job.

"Hi, you must be Iris. Is Barry ho-" He was cut off from he scream.

"I can't believe you know my name, Barry. You're looking for Barry?" Oliver nodded and smiled at her.

"Yeah, um-" he was again cut off from Iris screaming.

"Barry! You have a guest." Barry in the matter of seconds came running down the stairs with a notebook in hand.

"Whoa, You're. What?" Barry looked confused, confiming Oliver's thought of him not remembering.

"Sorry, that was kinda rude. I'm Barry Allen." Barry blushed and held out his hand, tremors. Easily Oliver accepted it not minding.

"Oliver Queen, but I'm guessing you know that." Oliver smiled and Barry smiled back.

"I was wondering if I could steal you away for a little bit." Oliver questioned, Barry looked to Iris who nodded. So Barry nodded to Oliver and was about to set the notebook down, but Iris refused.

"I think you should take that with you. Do you have your phone?" Iris questioned and Barry nodded, it was in his notebook. Oliver gestured to the car with Diggle standing next to it, and Barry walked with him to the vehicle. Diggle opening the door for them, and Oliver nodded in thanks.

"So, this is totally awesome." Barry started when he got in the car, "Do you mind if I take a picture with you?" Barry asked and Oliver couldn't deny, they have quite a few photos together, but he also couldn't tell Barry that.

"Go for it." Oliver said and leaned closer to Barry, who fumbled to take his phone out and snap a few pictures. Barry smiled and shook a little more.

"Ah man, I'm totally in just my pajamas, sorry. I should've changed." Barry hadn't noticed he was only in a t-shirt and boxers until this moment. But Oliver hadn't noticed either as he was so concentrated on not revealing anything to Iris.

"It's perfectly fine. I think we should start with you reading that notebook." Oliver said and Barry looked to the notebook confused. But proceeded to read it anyways. As he read it he looked into his shirt, then to the page.

"Nine months? Amnesia? How did you know about this?" he questioned and Oliver waited until he finished reading. He's not sure all of what's on there, but he hopes there's not much he has to fill in.

"So, before I was struck by lightning, I was in Starling City?" Oliver nodded and Barry continued with questions,

"And I didn't tell anyone why I was there?" Barry sighed.

"And You know why I was there, and only you?" Oliver nodded,

"I'll fill you in from the beginning." Oliver said with a sigh.

"I'm not sure why you hadn't remembered this since it was before you were struck. You and a couple detectives, one being your foster father, Joe. Another one Eddie came to help with this mysterious case. You were confronted by the Starling City vigilante, about leaving the case alone. That is was too dangerous, and you guys don't know what you were getting into." Oliver looked to Barry who was staring at him in awe. 

"And when your police force packed up you told them you'd stay a couple more days to finish up the evidence you had left. The last night the Starling vigilante's team found you in the train station and took to to help them. Basically you saved me. Because I am the starling city vigilante, now going by Arrow, and I was at large risk of dying. You looked past the fact that I was Oliver Queen and did everything in you power and knowledge to save me." Barry nodded for him to continue as if he wasn't even part of the story, since he didn't remember.

"You continued to visit, and we became closer. You told me we had to keep it under the books, and media. Because at the time my mother was running for mayor and my sister was becoming a serious celebrity. You told me you didn't want me to get a bad headline. Like 'Oliver Queen dating Central City CSI' or something like that. I agreed with it. But after a month of the long distance you got sick of it." Oliver sighed, tears brimming his eyes.

"You came and visited any chance you could, it took almost four hours on train to get to Starling, but you managed almost once a week. Some weeks you'd come twice. But even then you said it wasn't enough. So you said you were going to come for two weeks and decide if you wanted to move or not. You told your captain that you had the flu, you never told a soul why you were actually coming." Barry looked to the ground, feeling conflicted.

"Two days of being there, you left again. I thought it was me. I thought you didn't want to stay. But when I had Diggle call the precinct for you. Joe said that you disappeared a couple days ago and that you randomly showed up again. I didn't know why but Iris was panicked and got the whole precinct looking until you got a call, and you came back, just informing you were in Starling. Not why you were there." Oliver smiled at Barry as he finished up.

"You suddenly stopped talking to me. I thought it was because you had given up, that you couldn't handle keeping us a secret. Or that you told someone and they didn't approve." Oliver sniffled. "But just a couple hours ago, you called and told Felicity that you had been in a coma for nine months. And you didn't remember anything. I was so scared, and glad at the same time. I was scared because you didn't remember, so everything we did was gone. But glad that you didn't leave on purpose, that you weren't mad at me. Scared because you might no longer feel the same about me, because you don't remember." Oliver finished and Barry had tears in his eyes.

"I don't know what to say. I don't know what I'm feeling." Barry said wiping at his face, "I should write this down." He said and pulled out a pencil and began writing what happened, and what he heard. Oliver watched and noticed he was shaking too much and gently took the items from him. Barry looked up at him as he continued where he left off. The swirly print very different from Barry's own.

         _6/30/16_

_In Starling, you had met Oliver Queen two months before you were hit by lightning. You became close, and kept an undercover relationship. You were so dedicated to him. First long distance, then a month of that and you began visiting incognito every week, sometimes twice a week. Then you wanted to stay for two weeks to see if you actually wanted to move in with him, or at least to Starling. Over the course of those two months, you came and visited so often, I was surprised Iris and Joe hadn't figured something was up. After two days of your two week trip you had left. I wasn't sure if it was because you stopped loving me, or if it wasn't the life you wanted, but you were gone. When I had John Diggle call for you, you had been called by your captain and everyone was looking for you. You didn't tell them anything._

_ That's the night you were struck by lightning. I hadn't found out until a couple hours before seeing you again. Right now. If you ever need something. If you remember any moment we spent together, and you want to try it again. I won't keep you hidden, I want everyone to know that we once were as in love as it could get. And right now as you watch me write this I can tell you, no one else is more perfect than you can get. But if you don't want this like you used to. I'll understand. Just remember, Oliver Queen doesn't have to be a secret, But he is Starling City's own Arrow. _

You're one, with Love  
             Oliver Queen

Barry watched Oliver with intent eyes as he wrote. "If you want to go home now we can." Oliver offered and Barry nodded. They sat in silence and Barry began actually crying.

"I don't know why I'm crying, but I just feel like I need to." Barry said and Oliver easily pulled him into his chest, as if he's done it a thousand times, and as if he'd do it a thousand more.

"It's a lot to take in, I understand." Oliver's calloused hand ran over his mussed hair, his other hand sliding over Barry's back with such tenderness. He felt as if he moved in the wrong way, Barry could break. They quickly returned back to Barry's home. Since they were just driving around. Barry began calming himself, he wiped his face again. When he opened the door he turned back to Oliver, who smiled sadly.

"I love you Barry Allen." He said and Barry pulled him into a hug again, tightly holding on like he used to  and gently kissed the top of his head before they parted ways.

"I want to remember so badly." Barry sniffled more, and eventually pulled away, and found his way back into his house, and into his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I have any spelling or grammar errors, please comment and tell me where they are so I can fix them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry wakes up upset, he find himself at Jitters from a distant memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this might be messy. I wrote it on my phone. Its kinda short.

Mere hours after Barry's talk with Oliver he woke up with no memory of it. He looked around as confused as he was every morning. Noticing the notebook and began reading. As he read the note he looked into his shirt checking for the figures across his skin. Then Iris entered and Barry was almost crying. His eyes watery, and he sniffled, Iris instantly rushed over to him.

"Barr, what's wrong?" He looked back to the page and pulled it to his chest.

"I want to remember, I don't want to forget anymore." He quietly answered sniffling before he continued, "I don't want these feelings. I just want to be normal." His hands were shaking, but not from tremors. From his own sobs, roughly wracking his body.

"I-I don't understand what your talking about Barr." He questioned as she comforted him. He didn't say anything else. Just slid the notebook to her. He eyes stayed trained on him for another minute, then fell to the page. Wilty splotches interrupted some words, tears, probably from Barry. She read quietly, when she finished she turned to Barry. His sniffles had stopped but he still took in a shaky choppy breath. "I had no idea." She said and Barry nodded.

"It seems like I wanted to keep it that way for a while. And I don't know what to do. I don't know why I don't remember ever meeting him if it was before the lightning." Barry whimpered and pulled a pillow to his chest.

Iris rubbed his back with a sigh, she had her own questions. Like how does Barry end up in a secret relationship with Oliver Queen. How does Barry end up in a relationship with Starling City's vigilante, Arrow. Why does he keep it a secret?

"I don't know Barr. Is there anything you want?" Barry shrugged with a defeated sigh. Barry pondered the ideas.

"I don't know. I just want to think things over right now" Iris nodded to him, getting up.

"I'll leave you to that." She announced while leaving and Barry nodded watching her leave. As soon as the door closed Barry got up. He stopped for a moment from standing up too fast, getting dizzy. He got dressed and picked up the notebook and his phone. He opens his window and climbs out onto the roof and scuffles down to the edge. He dropped down like he had when he was a teen, gently padding out of the yard. His mind was racing as he turns to a jog and turned off the block. Why he didn't tell Iris he was going somewhere was beyond even him. But he continued jogging until he stopped, he looked up to Jitters. He's not sure why he's here but he is. He feels like he has to be here. At this time. It's a little after noon. He walks in and orders a coffee, and looks around. 

His eyes lazily passing over people, but they fall upon one man. Greying hair, sitting alone, blue eyes staring straight the cup in his hand. Barry stood staring at him, feeling like he knows him. Finally the man looks up and see Barry, he stares for a moment. Barry looks to the ground then to the man again.

"Sorry, I just feel like I-" he stopped, "Never mind. It doesn't make sense anyways." Barry shakes his head and the man smiles up at him.

"I bet it makes perfect sense." he declares and scoots in the booth seat making room for Barry. Barry ponders the idea and eventually takes the seat. The man looks to him for a moment before speaking again.

"If you had to guess my name, what would it be?" The man's piercing blue eyes had a look of thoughtfulness. Barry stared at the man confused for a little bit, looking to his phone and notebook.

"Do you happen to be Leonard, or Len?" The man nodded with a smile, he was remembered. He'd have to tell Lisa and Iris later. 

"That would be correct." Leonard smiles at the brunette, "So, have any idea how you remembered me?" He questioned and Barry shrugged with a smile.

"No clue. I just um, read what I wrote, yesterday and apparently this morning. I had a feeling I had to come here, and I felt like I knew you." Barry explained the best he could with an awkward fumble.

"Interesting. You wrote about meeting me?" he pushed, the corners of his lips curling up. Barry blushed and looked to the table.

"And Lisa." He added trying to cover his blush with his shaking hand. Leonard reached for Barry's notebook.

"What'd ya write about me. Anything interesting?" Barry fumbled to keep the book from Leonard. Len smiled as Barry pulled the book farther from him and eventually dropping it on the floor.

"Don't read it." Barry whined and felt his face heat up as Len lifted the book from under the table. Leonard began opening the book but closed it again, and returning to to Barry. 

"I wouldn't read it without your permission, since it is technically your memories." He said with a small smile. Barry was grateful for that and set the book in front of him, on the table.

"Don't write this down tonight. And we can see if you remember meeting me here again. Same time tomorrow." Len explained and Barry nodded. It is a break through that he remembered meeting Len, and he wanted to see if he can remember again. For another hour they sat silently, enjoying the others company sipping coffee. Eventually Barry broke the silence.

"What if I don't remember?" He sounded broken, this must be taking a toll on him. Len thought for a moment before coming to a conclusion.

"Write about meeting me again in the back pages. And if you remember then you write in the back if you don't then write in the front pages. This way we can see how consistent you are with remembering." He said a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Barry nodded and looked to the table, his chest filling with a warm feeling about how willing Len is about helping him.

"What do you do? Like as a job?"  _What if I asked him this already? What if I ask it again tomorrow and the next day? How many times will he answer?_ Barry's thoughts questioned every possibility before he got an answer.

"I am a bartender at Saints and Sinners. And no you hadn't asked me that yet." He said with a chuckle at the look Barry was giving.

"I didn't say- How'd you?" Barry let out a sigh and shrugged it off. Causing Leonard to let out a laugh.  

"You are a piece of work there Barry." Len said before finishing his coffee. Barry blushed and finished his own coffee. He was about to ask more questions then his phone rang. It was Iris. He sighed again looking to Len.

        "She doesn't know I left." He said before answering.

"Iris I'm fine. I left out my window. I know. No I couldn't get hurt. I've been doing that since high school. I'm with Len. No. N-No. Iris. I remembered meeting him at Jitters. So I left." Barry was silent for a minute listening to whatever Iris was saying.

"Fine. I'll come back in a bit. I am an adult you know. I can be in the world for a little while. Yes I know. Coma, lightning, amnesia. I know. It's not like I forget that I'm an adult, and that I can handle myself. Yes. See you then." Barry said before hanging up. 

"You got in trouble. And climbing out a second floor window? That's dangerous." Leonard teased and Barry sighed. 

"Yeah, I know. But I know what I'm doing. I used to sneak out at night. I wasn't always this straight A student, part of the CCPD. I rebelled all of middle school and the first two years of highschool." Barry said in a matter-of-factly tone. This peaked Leonard's interest, raising an eyebrow to show.

"Do explain." He pushed and Barry shook his head.

"I will next time. But as of now. My foster sister is furious and is probably going to send for all of CCPD to find me." Barry said standing up.  

"Okay, hopefully see you tomorrow. So you can explain." He said also standing. They weren't sure how to say good bye. They booth stood for an awkward moment before Barry just pulled him into a hug. Len reciprocated instantly, wrapped his arms around Barry's waist. They stayed for a couple minuets until Len released him. Barry smiled, his face warm.

"Thanks, for everything." Barry said pulling away from Len and he nodded with a smile.

"Anytime. See you tomorrow." He said being fully released from Barry. Barry waved once more before leaving the cafe. Len smiled after him, eyes moving to the floor. His smile fading at the thought of Barry not remembering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is a word that doesn't make sense or spelling error can you comment and I'll fix it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who are you people?"
> 
> Barry doesn't recognize anyone surrounding his hospital bed. But where is Oliver?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one. Also typed on my phone.

Barry sighed when he entered the house, Iris instantly hugging him and scolding him for leaving. He smiled though, glad someone was as worried about him as her, and Leonard. Remembering Leonard warmed his heart.

"I was so worried. At first I thought you left for yoga but Lisa didn't see you. And I then thought you went to work, but Captain Singh didn't see you, and dad didn't see you. So I after calling you, you finally picked up." She paused, "I called you several times." Barry felt his eyebrows furrow.

"I only hear my phone ring once." Barry said pulling out of the hug. "Now. I have to write this down. So I can remember it tomorrow." Barry said holding up his notebook. Before she can stop him he ran up to his room and began writing in the back pages of his notebook.

  
          _6/30/16_  
  
_This section of the book will be memories you may keep. Today I woke up and I had a memory. From yesterday. I remembered who Leonard was and I went to Jitters, where we met, and found him. I don't know how I remembered but I did. And that is why I am writing in the back of the book. In case I remember that Len will be at Jitters around noon, waiting for you. And you have to be there._

_If you remember write in the back of the book again, if you don't you will write in the front as before. Any morning you wake up and don't remember about meeting Len will be like stepping backwards. Hopefully you begin remembering more things._

_Here's what happened with Len today, I walked in and he looked familiar. That's how he saw me staring, and I guessed he was Leonard. We talked. He told me to write in the back of the book. And for future reference he works in Saints and Sinners, as a bartender. Can be asking the same questions over and over again. Make sure. If you don't tell Iris where you're going, call her. She will get really worried because she thinks we aren't able to be out in the world with this whole mess of amnesia and coma stuff. But try to understand._

_In the morning I didn't know how to handle my feelings about Leonard or Oliver. I'm not sure what to do. Oliver clearly still loves me, but I don't remember him. When we met, why I kept it a secret for him. He was willing to tell his city that he was with me, but I wanted his mayoral campaign to run smoothly. I hope I remember everything soon._

_Maybe we can work something out with being friends. I'm not sure though. I have feelings just not how they used to be. I am slowly falling ~~.~~_  

Barry dropped his pencil and looked around. He panicked. His heart racing, his hands shaking aggressively. Screeching sounding in his head. 

"Iris!" He tried to yell but it hurt. His head is pounding, feelings like its throbbing with pain. He heard light footsteps up then stairs. The door opening, it squeaking as it opened. Barry pressed his palms to his temples, trying to sooth the pain. Not helping.

"What's wrong?" She asked and Barry tried to stand but fell to the ground with a groan. She gasped and ran to him.

"DAD! CALL AN AMBULANCE!" She ran to Barry and listed his head into her lap and brushed hair out of his face. He was sweaty and his eyes were closed but he was mumbling so she knows he's not unconscious. In almost two minutes the ambulance was heard down the block. Barry was shaking more, and he wrapped his arms around himself as he tried to speak. She raked her hands through his hair as he shook more. As soon as the paramedics got in the room Iris stood up and let them do what they had to. They lay him on a stretcher as and carried him down to the stairs and into the ambulance with Iris and Joe following.

The ambulance took off and Joe drove behind them worried. Iris was crying and dialling Lisa's number. The phone range three timed before Lisa picked up.

"Hey Iris I missed you at Yoga tod-" Iris interrupted.

"Something happened to Barry. He... He was writing in his notebook and he was alone... I don't know what happened." She could hear Lisa getting up and grabbing things. Iris could hear Leonard in the background asking where she was going, and Lisa saying they were going to the hospital because Barry was hurt. Minutes later they were all sitting nervously in the waiting room as Barry was in an emergency room.

Joe was pacing across the room waiting to hear from the doctors. Iris was crying to Lisa and Len was sitting silently, his right leg bouncing nervously, his fingers tapping his knees. After an hour a doctor came out and talked with Joe quietly. Joe sighed and nodded. He gestured to the small trio of people waiting for Barry. They were allowed to see him but they had to stay quiet since he was was resting. Iris continued asking Joe what happened since the doctor had only told him but he wasn't answering yet.

After thirty minuets of all four people silently sitting with Barry's unconscious body his eyelids fluttered opened. Iris smiled at him glad he woke up and didn't fall into a coma for nine more months. 

"Hey Barry. How're you feeling?" Iris asked and Barry's heart rate picked up slightly, with the constant beeping it was hard not to notice. Barry's wide eyes scanned the room, trying to identify each person.

"Who are you? And where is Oliver?" He questioned as he pulled up the fabric of the blanket to cover himself more. They all stared at him with astonishment. Silence rung through the room, when there's silence everything seems louder. Like the beeping of the heart monitor, the sound of the air conditioner, and the sound outside the room. Joe broke the silence.

"Who's Oliver?" His voice was hurt and confused. Barry sighed.

"Oliver is my boyfriend. Who are you people?" As Barry spoke the room got even more silent. As if you could hear the air molecules moving, and sound of each person's breath would like screaming.

"Hey guys. Um I know what he's talking about but I can't tell you because it would be up to him to decide who to tell after this. Can I um have a moment with him?" Eventually Iris was alone with him. She pulled his notebook out of her purse and handled it to him. She grabbed it last minute before rushing to follow him to the hospital. Barry stated at her for a minute the took the book and read.

"So I wrote this?" He questioned and Iris nodded. Barry thought for a minute and nodded.

"Why do I only remember what happened in Starling?" He questioned and Irish shook her head unsure herself. He sighed and read the words again.

"I'm guessing Leonard was that nervous looking man who didn't say anything. And Lisa the other woman?" Iris nodded again and he ran his thumb over the page.

"Can I see Oliver?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If their are any nasty messy parts please comment what is it and where it is. I wrote this on my phone and its all gross. When I get on a computer I with fix as much of these last two chapters as I can.
> 
> Update: I fixed both chapters, so they are no longer messy, if there is spelling and grammar errors I will be happy to fix them.
> 
> Now let's see what happened to Barry?
> 
> I think I may do a Len chapter, or an Oliver chapter. Where you see how they deal with Barry's incident.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe tells Lisa and Len what happened while Iris was talking to Barry. Len insists he stay with Barry and meets Oliver.

Joe paced down the hall as Iris was in the room with Barry, Len checked the time constantly and looked to Joe.

"What happened to him?" He asked quietly and Joe sighed, knowing it was coming soon. He decided to finally let everyone else know what happened, and will explain to Iris later.

"His body went into shock, and went into convulsions. Hey may have remembered too much at once, and now his brain is creating some other form of memories. I don't know." Joe said defeated, "I don't know who Oliver is. I've never heard him talk about an Oliver before." Joe admitted and paced more. Len stared and thought, he's never heard of an Oliver. Not from Iris or Barry. Lisa shook her head worried. Yeah she's only known him for two days now, but she instantly cared about him. Iris left the room, and commented that Barry is sleeping.

They agreed to wait until he was awake to come back. Iris didn't say anything about who Oliver is to Joe, Lisa, or Len. They all looked to her as if she had all the answers. On the way out Leonard stopped and sighed, pacing a little.

"I'll wait in the room until he wakes up. Then I'll call you guys." Iris shook her head.

"No, the uh hospital said they'd call." She was lying. Len could tell, he heard people lie all the time.

"I don't know, I think it's a good idea. Since he can call right away. We won't have to wait." Lisa said with a smile to Len and nodded to his sister. Iris nodded, no way to keep him from staying without sounded suspicious. She'd definitely have to call Oliver again. Len walked back to the room and opened the door, seeing Barry was not sleeping but reading a magazine.

"Uh. Hi?" Barry questioned and Len shrugged with a nod, "You're Leonard right?" Len nodded and sat down. Barry watched him and looked to the magazine again.

"I'm guessing you are wondering who Oliver is." Len nodded again and Barry continued, "Oliver Queen. Iris and Joe didn't know. I told Iris this morning apparently. Before the lightning I had been seeing him for two months. Secretly. I don't know how I managed to get to Starling every weekend, each week. Sometimes I'd call in sick and go to Starling for the morning then leave in the afternoon for dinner. Suddenly I disappeared from him. He had no idea what happened until last night, I told him what happened. And now I only remember the time I spent with him. I don't remember anyone except Oliver." Barry explained. Len sat for a moment taking it in. Barry dating Oliver under the books without letting anyone know except him and Oliver.

"That's why Iris left. And didn't want me to stay. Oliver's on his way." Len said and stood up. "I'm sorry. I should have listened to her. I should leave then." Barry interrupted him shaking his head.

"You can stay. I don't know if I would want you to know or not, or if you knew. But from that notebook, the other me really likes you. Like a lot." Barry said with a small smile. Len smiled at that, Barry likes him. A lot. 

"I think it'll be okay for you to meet him." Barry said and nodded, Len sat back down and looked around the room. Barry was like a totally different person. He seems more confident about himself.

"So, you work at Saints and Sinners? I had it uh written in the book." He said and Leonard nodded to him.

"How long have you worked there?" He asked and Len thought for a moment.

"Four years, before I worked there I was working at this other bar, but things went downhill for the manager. He was selling drugs, and spiking the drinks." Len answered and Barry nodded.

"How did you meet Oliver?" He questioned in return.

"I was working this seemingly impossible case for SCPD and he was close to the captain, and one of the detectives."  

"Oh, and you started seeing him?"

"Yeah, how did you meet Iris?"

"My sister, Lisa, runs a free yoga class that Iris goes to and said I absolutely had to meet her. So ever since I waited for them to finish yoga at Jitters and then we'd meet up and hang out almost everyday."

"Why don't you go to yoga? I apparently like it."

"I hate yoga, it's too slow for me. I'm more of a martial arts guy."

"So is Oliver.

"So how much do you remember?" Len asks and the room grew silent.

"I remember that I work for CCPD, that my mother was murdered when I was 11, that my father did it, and that's why I became a forensic scientist. I remember some people, Eddie Thawne, Felicity Smoak, John Diggle, and Oliver's sister Thea." Barry said and Len nodded, that's not a lot. It seems to be everything that he wasn't remembering before the incident.

"I'm sorry for that, that's not something someone should grow up with."

"How long will it take for Oliver to get here?" He asked and Barry thought for a minute.

"Well, for him a 45 minute jet ride. When I'd visit him it'd be a 5 and a half hour drive. for a car it would be about 10 hours." Barry said and Len nodded. "Have you always lived in Central?" Barry asked and Leonard shook his head.

"I was born here, but my father was abusive, so I took Lisa and we went to Keystone for a while, then to Coast City. Eventually we moved back here." Len explained and Barry nodded with sympathy.

"Someone shouldn't have to live through that either." Barry answered.

"Do you know if your father is still out there?" he asked and Len nodded.

"He was arrested about ten years ago, that's why Lisa and I came back. We really do love this city." He smiled at the other man.

"Oliver should be here any minute. Iris stalled so I wouldn't have to wait alone for very long." Barry explained and Len nodded.

"Well, turns out you didn't have to wait alone. Sorry about that again. I should have just listened to Iris, I was just worried about you." Len admitted and Barry smiled.

"Totally understandable. No problem at all really." Barry said, and soon there was set of footsteps down the hall. The door opened and Oliver looked in before entering. He spotted Leonard, who stood up and held out his hand.

"Hi, I'm assuming you are Leonard, right?" Oliver asked taking his hand and shaking it. Len nodded and smiled at him.

"Yeah. I wasn't going to stay but Iris said Barry was sleeping, and I didn't know you were going to come. And Barry said I should meet you." Len filled Oliver in and Oliver smiled at him then Barry.

"It's no problem. Iris told me she doesn't know what happened, but he didn't recognized you, her, her dad or Lisa." Len nodded.

"Right, so what the doctor told Joe, was that Barry might have remembered too much at once which caused him to go into shock and convulsions. Then he doesn't remember anything he did before, and only remembers what he didn't." Len explained quickly. Oliver looked to Barry and smiled, his heart was pounding.  _He remembers me, but at the cost of forgetting everyone else._

Oliver crossed the room and sat in the other chair, Len sat back down and looked to Barry. Barry glanced between the two worried men and sighed.  _How fucked up can my life get?_  He questioned himself mentally.

"So, um. I don't really know what to do." Barry confessed and looked to his notebook.  _Where did I even find this notebook. Must be from highschool, I haven't seen it in years._

After they talked for hours, a nurse came in and said Barry needed sleep before he could get better and to make sure he's stabilized enough to go home the next night. Len called Iris and informed her that Barry's nurse kicked them out, and he was going to talk with Oliver more. Iris apologized about lying but couldn't let anyone else know until Barry wanted them to hear about Oliver.

"So, you wanna go to a bar?" Len asked and Oliver nodded.

"I guess, I told Felicity I was going to be in Central until tomorrow afternoon. Might as well stay." Oliver said and Len smiled knowing he may have just made another friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Len meets Oliver. So next chapter is probably going to be just them hanging out and because bestest friends.  
> Then Barry might have to choose when and if he remembers everything.  
> The plot thickens people.
> 
> If I have any spelling or grammar errors please let me know in the comments. Two uploads in one day, good for me. I'm probably going to start chapter 7 on my phone and fix it tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len and Oliver's night after seeing Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this on my phone again. I'll fix asap.

Len offered a ride to S&S and Oliver accepted. When they arrived the bar was mostly empty, but there were a few drunk bums wasting away. Oliver trailed after Len and took a seat at the bar next to him.

"So, you work here?" Oliver asked and Len nodded.

"Yeah, for four years."

"Does it pay good?"

"Good enough, nothing amazing. You uh the Mayor yet? I'm not really caught up on all this stuff." Len explained and Oliver chucked.

"Nah, not gonna happen. Something got in the way." Oliver said discreetly.

"Oh, you'd be a good mayor. Got the status, the looks. I'm sure you're pretty damn smart too. You'd be able to protect them." Len said ordering two beers that were quickly set in front of them. Oliver smiled at the compliment.

"Yeah, it surprised my sister and Felicity. But some more personal issues come up and I wasn't sure with them I should represent the city." Oliver announced and Len nodded to him understanding.

"So, what do you do now? What with the company being bought by that Palmer guy. You gonna try to take your club back from your sister?" He asked unsure if he was being too personal or not.

"Nah, I'll let her keep it. I think I'll lay low. Work small jobs. It'll be good for the public to see that a millionaire can work small too." Oliver smiled and Len sipped his beer.

"Reasonable, if you ever get sick of your city. I'll leave a opening here. The current manager is getting fed up and will split soon. Probably make me next manager."

"That's nice. I'll keep that in mind. You're a good guy Leonard. I'm glad when I'm not around Barry has you."

"Thanks, and you can call me Len. You're good too Oliver." After that they stayed quiet. It wasn't until 3 am, when the bar closes, did they speak again. Both slightly tipsy, they decided on walking to Len's place.

"I know you got money, but you cn stay at m place fer tonight. T's no problem." Len offered as they made their way down the street.

"You'd do that. Yer too kind." Oliver smiled all the way back to the small apartment. Len dropped his keys twice before getting the door open. He invited Oliver in who stumbled past into the main living room slash kitchen dining room.

"It's nothin' great but t's open" Len gestured to the apartment as a whole his words slurring together.

"Thanks man." Oliver said pulling his shoes off. He made his way to the couch and sat down with a sigh. Len followed suit and flopped down next to Oliver. They quickly fell into silence, the only sound was traffic and their smooth even breaths.

"So," Oliver sighed out glancing to Len. Leonard turned to Oliver, who was now staring straight forward again.

"I don't know what I'll do." He shifted to face Len before continuing.

"Do?" Len asked curiously, and confused.

"I don't know what I'll do if Barry stops loving me. Or if he keeps loving me. If he loves me. I don't know what I'd do if doesn't remember again." Oliver says and Len nods. Almost identical feelings.

"Not that I know if Barry loves me or not. But I understand. Not completely since you guys clearly have history, and a story. I understand." Len said facing Oliver head on too. Oliver bit his lip, like he had something else to say.

"What's on your mind?" Len asked raising a concerned eyebrow.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Oliver shook his head and looked to his lap.

"Okay, if you change your mind. You can tell me....Anyways, you need to borrow some clothes to sleep in?" Len asked getting yo to grab some anyways. He came back with a pair of pajama pants and an undershirt. He handed them to Oliver who took them with a smile and spat out a quick thanks. Len directed him to the bathroom to change.

When he returned from the bathroom Len was leaning against one of the counters in only sweat pants drinking a glass of water. Silently he offered another cup to Oliver to took it and sipped at the cool liquid.

"Thanks." He smiled with a nod. He leaned against the counter across from Len. Soon they finished the water and Len broke silence.

"D'you wanna sleep in my bed and I take the couch? Or do you not care either way?" Len questioned and Oliver shrugged.

"I don't mind either way. And if your bed is bigger than a twin, I'm a still sleeper so I'd be fine if we shared. Its not like we didn't spend all night together anyways." Oliver explained and Len nodded. He made his way down the hall and opened the door inviting Oliver in first. Yep, enough room for them both there. 

"You managed to get a Queen mattress through that door?" Oliver questioned clearly impressed. And Len nodded.

"I would say I'm quite skilled at getting oversized objects into small spaces." Len mused with a chuckle then froze.

"That didn't come out right..." Oliver nodded.

"Yeah." Oliver laughed a bit and moved into the bed. Len clicking off the light and crawling in next. The room was silent aside from their breathing.

Len shifted several times before getting comfortable. Oliver never stirred from laying on his back. In the morning Len woke to a knock on his door. He turned and saw Oliver still sleeping on his side now but still resting. Len got up careful not to wake his friend and moved to open the door. He peeked through and sighed. Lisa. Of course. He opened then door anyways and let her in.

"Nows not a good time." Lisa rolled her eyes.

"I know Barry's not okay, but that's no reason to block me out." Lisa raised her voice slightly.

"Quiet down." He shushed and Lisa sighed.

"Lenny! Don't tell me to be quiet!" Len rolled his eyes and looked to his room hoping Oliver would still be asleep.

"Lisa. Just quiet down a little bit." He spoke calmly. Lisa grumbled and stomped her foot in a fit crossing her arms.

"Lenny. I came to make sure you still wanted to come to coffee today."

"Well I have a guest that's sleeping." He said gesturing to his room.

"Did you sleep with someone? I thought you liked Barry."

"I do. We went for beers last night when they kicked me out of Barry's room." Lisa nodded.

"Who is it?" Len groaned.

"None of your business." 

"Then I'll look."

"Don't do that Lise." He warned following her down the hall. She threw the door opened seeing Oliver pulling his shirt from the previous day over his head.

"Lisa I told you don't." He said pulling at her arm.

"I'd know that torso anywhere. Oliver Queen" 

"You must be Lisa." He said pulling the shirt over the waistband of his jeans. Len sighed as Lisa smiled at the other man.  _What a morning..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lenny and Ollie. BFFs? Love triangle or what?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry wakes up with the memories with Oliver and again remembers who his family and friends are. Things get a little more complicated with Len and Oliver's relationship.

Barry woke up looking around the room confused,  _hospital bed._ He sits up and noticed a notebook on his lap.  _I remember being in Starling, then coming back to central for something. Its not December anymore but I remember waking up and yoga. Coffee._ He opens the notebook and reads confused over the whole thing. Struck by lightning? He can feel the familiarity of Leonard in his head but not what he looks like. The door opened and he looked up to the nurse entering the room.

"Iris is here to pick you up. Make sure you drink plenty of water and get some rest." She says setting a pile of clothes on the foot of the bed he changed into them quickly and left the room. When he spotted Iris he approached.

"You remember me!" She said hugging him quickly. She got a serious look on her face when she released him. "I snuck Oliver into the house and Len is with dad, Lisa is sitting in the car. I don't know what you want to do in this situation."

"Well, I remember Oliver and my time with him, and I remember you guys, faintly remember Len and Lisa. I'm not sure. I guess I can tell Joe about our relationship, but I don't know what to do. With Len and Oliver." Barry trailed off as he climbed into the car and they drove back home.

Once there he was bombarded with questions from Joe and Len making sure he was alright. He assured them he's fine and left to get Oliver.

"Hey. How're you?" He asks and Barry smiled easily falling into Oliver's chest wrapping his arms around him. Oliver easily hugged him tightly.

"I remembered and I don't know what to do. It's like there are two versions of me fighting each other. One fighting for you and the other fighting for Len. I remember what is was like to no remember you and what it was like only remembering you." Barry said voice muffled against Oliver's shirt.

"You don't have to worry about that right now." Oliver said calmly while letting go of the thin man.

"I want to tell Joe about us. When we were. Are? Were? together."

"Right now?" 

"Yeah. I guess while you're here." He said and walked out of the room to speak to Joe.

"I think you're the only one to not know who Oliver is. But before the lightning, when I would sometimes leave in the morning and not get home until late I was going to Starling city." He confesses, Joe looks honestly confused by the statement.

"The reason why is because when we all worked on that case I met someone and we became good friends and eventually we decided to make it official and I dated Oliver for two months before I disappeared for two days. I was going to see if I'd want to move in with him, I couldn't do long distance anymore. And I want you to meet him, even if I'm not sure what I'm doing right now." Barry said and Joe nods, stunned silent. How hadn't he noticed Barry was leaving to a city almost 600 mile away. Oliver Queen rounds the corner and Joe stares at the man.

"Oh. Wow. I did not expect you." Joe finally said shaking Oliver's hand. After that they all talked about the situation for a bit, whether Barry is going to forget again or if he's going have to worry about long term memory or not.

Eventually Iris and Joe had to leave for work and that left Barry, Len, and Oliver for the day.

"What do you wanna do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any spelling or grammar errors all be happy to fix them. Bad spelling and grammar bothers me.
> 
> Sorry it's short. God I should write longer chapters.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry spent the day with Oliver and Len. He wants to be normal, and wants to know what to do about his conflicting feelings.

The three of them made their way around the city. Making sure Oliver was undercover enough he wouldn't recognized by any fans. Oliver honestly didn't think it was necessary. He hasn't considered himself a celebrity for a while, more of a public figure. They stopped at the grocery store and bought snacks and spent the whole day messing around and generally enjoy each other's company. Soon they decided they should go to Len's apartment and stay there until Oliver has to leave.

"We should watch a movie." Barry suggested and they agreed to watch Larry Crowne. Barry had his head in Oliver's lap and his legs draped over Len's lap. Oliver was softly combing his fingers through  Barry's hair. Len was gently rubbing Barry's calf with one hand and while holding one of Barry's hands in the other. Barry made sure he stayed awake to write everything down in his notebook later. He felt happy. He knows everything is complicated, but he loves these two men. He can't ever think of one leaving or him having to choose. He wants to leave things as they are. Oliver looked at the time and it was around 4 and Felicity had expected him around five to work on getting his company back and restoring the Queen's name to as it was before everything went downhill.

Oliver hugged Barry who latched on with a sad smile. Not wanting Oliver to leave. Len nodded and gave a small hug before Oliver left out the door. Barry stared at the door for a while and sighed. Eventually he shut his eyes. When he opened them they were watery. A tear fell as his thoughts raced around about how this will end. About if Len loves him and if Oliver still loves him. Forgetting everything every morning hurt, but remembering everything hurt worse. He knows he is madly in love with both Oliver and Len. He has a history with Oliver. They were going to move in together, well he was going to move in with Oliver. They were going to announce their relationship. And he had even thought about marrying Oliver. But Len. He can feel for Barry. He loves him. Even without spending that much time together. Len just knows the right things to say, and everything feels so right with him. So perfect. Len looked to Barry with concern.

"Barry, what's wrong?" He questioned while moving into Barry's line of sight. Barry sniffled and began talking, several tears falling down his cheeks.

"I can't do this. I don't know what to do. Len. I want my memory to be normal, and I want everything to be normal. But I don't want to remember. If I remember I have to choose. I have to figure things out. I know I have to, but I don't want to. I never felt happier than when I'm with you and Oliver. I feel so loved. And I love you back. I love Oliver. I'm so confused." He cried and Len pulled him into his arms. Barry sniffled and cried. Len rubbed gentle circles in his back calming him. Soon Barry was breathing evenly again small hiccups and sniffles coming from him. It was a short burst of emotions but Len knew how to take care of him.

"Thank you." Barry said and Len smiled.

"I will never let you be unhappy. No matter what happens, if you remember. If you don't. I will help you work through it. We can figure this out together, you don't have to go through this alone." Len said and Barry nodded. It seemed early to do it. But that 'short burst of emotion took almost an hour of relaxing circles, and small mumbles of reassurance.

"Now, let's get you home." He said and he drove Barry home, keeping him awake to write again, the emotional break down wore the poor boy out. When they got to Joe's Len walked with Barry up the stairs who instantly began writing in his notebook. It took a while but by the time Barry finished it was almost 7. Barry laid in bed and Len sat next to him, gently raking his hands through Barry's hair.

"Len?" He questioned and Len hummed at him.

"You have work." Barry commented and Len raised his brows. He's told Barry his work schedule, but on that first accidental Jitters meet up.

"Right. Goodbye Barry."

"Love you, Len." Barry said dozing and mentally thinking,  _Please remember this tomorrow. Please remember this tomorrow._

"Love you too Barr." Len shut and door and left to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. If there are any spelling or grammar errors please tell me in the comments. Thank you.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what Barry wrote in his notebook from the last chapter.

         _7/2/16_

 

_Yesterday, I wasn't sure how I was going to finish that journal entry because, well  I went into shock and only remembered the two months I was in a relationship with Oliver. Yesterday I wasn't even aware of this notebook. I didn't remember who Iris, Joe, or Len were. But today I woke up in the hospital and I remembered everything prior to the lightning. My memory is getting better. Like I remember how I feel about Len every day, and I remember how he sounds. But I don't remember the lightning when I wake up. I don't remember I was in a coma for nine months. It's getting harder to act normal. Because I am in love with both Oliver and Len. I feel happy with them. And they make me feel complete._

_Today I went back home after being in the hospital, and I arranged to spend the day with Oliver and Len. At first we just talked about random stuff, then we watched a movie._

_Sometimes, I want to remember everything. I want to remember the first days of waking up. I want to be normal again. But if I remember I will have to figure out what's going on with me and Oliver. And Len. I know these have to be short so I don't spend the first half of my day reading but I feel this is important. Len is with me right now. He's waiting for me to finish writing because I want to remember today. I had a great time. While watching the movie I laid my head in Oliver's lap and he played with my hair. I had my legs over Len's lap and he ran his hand gently over my leg. It was comforting and I felt like both of them truly loved me. I think they do._

_After Oliver left, I broke down. Not sure what to do. If I want to remember or if I want to read this notebook every morning in hopes of remembering. I feel like if I never met Len, I wouldn't be remembering things. Because the first day with this notebook I wrote things down. Then I remembered I met Len at Jitters. Then I dug and found out about Oliver. Then I remembered that time with Oliver and now. I know it's nearing time for Len to leave to work. So I'm going to finish this up so I can at least get to bed. It's only about 7 but I had a small break down and I and worn out. Especially since I've been writing for a while._

_Yourself,_

_Barry._

 

      Iris shut the notebook and sighed feeling for Barry. He wants to remember everything so bad, and he wanted to be normal again. He is madly in love with two men, and he can't figure himself out. Iris had come in after work to check on Barry and found him sleeping calmly in his bed. She couldn't help but want to read the notebook. He doesn't typically share what's going on in his head so this is the only way she could make sure he's truly okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any spelling or grammar errors please point them out. I'd love to fix them and thank you for reading.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry feels content with his living situation, being an amnesiac, and his current relationship situation. He finds how desperate Oliver was when Barry left that night. Later remeeting and rekindling his love for Len. While going for a movie Barry remembers something and Len has insight of how much Barry was inpacted by the lightning.

Barry woke up, more calm about not remembering anything. The most calm he's been since he first woke up from the coma. He read the notebook and seemingly accepted his past without question. He was downstairs before Joe woke up making pancakes and bacon while humming a random song, Iris showed up and she walked up stairs and opened Barry's door and panicked running downstairs and into the kitchen, Where she assumed Joe was cooking breakfast. She stopped, looking at Barry, mindlessly dancing to the song in his head. 

"Hi. Barry. Where's Joe?" She asks making Barry jump.

"Oh! Jeez, you scared me Iris. He's uh, still in bed. I haven't seen him." Barry turned back to the food, flipping a pancake and setting another on the growing stack. Iris eyed the food and looked back to Barry.

"How much food are you making?" She asked and Barry shrugged. 

"I'm just hungry, and I don't know how hungry Joe would be." He said with a smile.

"Okay, but today you should head over to your apartment, and clear the mailbox. Maybe if you aren't going to be there, while you're recovering, you can get some of your clothes and other stuff." She suggests and Barry nods.

"Okay, After breakfast though." Barry said in a sing-song voice and Iris nodded. "You're having breakfast with us, since you are here." He said pointing a piece of bacon at her. She laughs and nods.

"Fair enough." That's when Joe thumped down the stairs. 

"Why are you awake Barr?" He asks and Barry shrugs

"I'm making breakfast." He says and Joe nods. Barry adds another three pancakes to the stack and finishes pulling the last of the bacon off the pan. Barry set the syrup, butter, pancakes, and bacon on the table while Iris grabbed the plates and forks and a butter knife, Joe grabbed orange juice and milk along with cups. They sat down and had a calm family breakfast. Joe left for work, and Iris helped clean up. 

"I have to go soon too, but don't forget to go to your apartment." Barry nods and she kisses his cheek and leaves. For a while Barry wandered the house looking through old messages on his phone, finding Oliver's number. Buried with new texts, there were hundreds of unread messages, from the end of December all through January ending a few days into Feburary. He scrolled all the way to November where they began.

 **To Barry >> Nov. 13. 2015  
** **When are you coming?**

 **From Barry << Nov. 13. 2015  
** **Tomorrow, I don't need an excuse for missing family dinner then**

 **To Barry >> Nov. 13 2015  
** **You don't need to keep this a secret. We've been together for almost a month.**

 **From Barry << Nov. 13. 2015  
** **This kind of thing can ruin your mayoral campaign. I can't do that to you.**

 **To Barry >> Nov. 13. 2015  
** **No matter who I'm with, people still like the message and changes I would bring to Starling City.**

 **From Barry << Nov. 13. 2015  
** **I know.  I just don't want to take that chance. After you become Mayor, I promise.**

 **To Barry >> Nov. 13. 2015  
** **Okay. I understand your worry. See you tomorrow.**

 **From Barry << Nov. 14. 2015  
** **I'm boarding now.**

**To Barry >> Nov. 14. 2015  
       See you in a few hours**

 

Barry read the messages all the way through to December. Most of the messages were conversations like that and plans for when Barry would arrive to Starling. Barry remembers these messages. He remembers what they did each visit he made, but the next massages Barry had never seen. Barry read the constant massages from Oliver. None being returned by Barry.

 **To Barry << Dec. 27. 2015  
**         **Where did you go? I thought you were staying for a couple weeks.**

**To Barry << Dec. 27. 2015  
        Did you decide you didn't want to move in?**

**5 missed calls from Oliver**

**To Barry << Dec. 30. 2015  
        Why are you ignoring my calls?**

**To Barry << Jan. 01. 2016  
        What happened?**

**To Barry << Jan. 01. 2016  
        I thought you were happy**

**To Barry << Jan. 04. 2016  
        Please answer, we can talk this out?**

**To Barry << Jan. 05. 2016  
        Don't do this to me. I miss you Barry**

**To Barry << Jan. 07. 2016  
        It's been a couple weeks since you left for no reason**

**To Barry << Jan. 07. 2016  
        Do you have a reason?**

**To Barry << Jan. 07. 2016  
        Barry, I love you. Where did you go? I had Diggle ask about you at CCPD no one would answer.**

**To Barry << Jan. 10. 2016  
        Are you mad at me?**

**To Barry << Jan. 10. 2016  
** **Did I do something? Please answer me**

**10 Missed called from Oliver**

**1 Voicemessage from Oliver**

Barry plays the message hearing very upset words echo over the speaker

**"Barry. I'm not sure what I did. But I need you to answer me. So we can talk about whatever happened. I can't run for mayor anymore. Something happened with Arrow business. People are getting hurt. I'm distracted. I miss you. You kept me centered. I just really need you, I need to hear your voice, your laugh. The snorts you make when you think I'm being irrational. I need to see you, your cute mop of brown hair, your beautiful eyes, your cute little freckles. Please come back Barry. I have no idea where you are. And you've been gone for almost a month. Please come back. I love you. - _Who're you on the phone with?-_ No one. I'm leaving a message.- _For who?-_ No one you know." **

**To Barry << Jan. 18. 2016  
** **Where are you?**

 **To Barry << Jan. 23. 2016  
** **Are you ever coming back?**

**To Barry << Jan. 30. 2016  
       I miss you Barr. Please answer when you can.**

The messages continue with similar messages, all pleading for Barry to return. Finally they end on Feburary 12, Oliver admitting defeat.

 **To Barry << Feb. 12. 2016  
** **I understand I guess. If you don't want to come back I won't make you. I would never make you do something. I just wanted you to be happy. If you ever decide to return, I'll wait. I'll wait forever if I have to. You haven't read a single message. And I understand if you are mad at me for some reason, any reason, no reason. It doesn't matter. I'll always love you Barry. It just seems you didn't feel the same. Bye.**

Barry felt tears well up in his eyes reading the last message and finally decided to go to the apartment. He quickly showered, got dressed and left with his phone and keys. When he got there he opened the mail box. Full. He grabs the stack of letters about to go up to the apartment itself, he was stopped by the manager.

"Oh, Barry. I'm so glad you okay. There more letters. Here. Follow. You struck by lightnin inside, no? Scary, scary. I pray for you every night" The manager is a very. Very. Old asian woman. Her gray and white hair pulled back into a low bun, her glasses barely holding onto the tip of her nose. She almost waddled instead of walking. Her slippered feet dragging across the splintering floors. She almost always wore nightgowns. She lead Barry to the back where a large bin was filled with letters.

"Thank you Miss Henderson." Barry smiles picking up the bin and carrying it up to his apartment. He sat on the couch looking at the mail. some bills, some letters from the hospital, most. Most from Oliver. Barry separated them by date. Ten from December, 15 from January, and 5 from Feburary. He began reading. Most were stories from his troubles as Arrow. Others were full of pleads for Barry to return. It seems desparate, but Barry understands. Oliver didn't know where his lover went. Barry dissappeared in middle of the night without a note, or text. And there was no sign of him returning. Oliver was in love, he felt love and passion for the lanky nerd. Barry read each one not skipping a single word. After almost an hour of reading and opeing letters Barry finished and neatly folded them returning them to the envelope. He picked up some clothes, and other items he wants back at Joe's house and left locking the door.

Barry's mind was racing, if past Barry was so in love with Oliver, why does he love Leonard as well. How can things like this happen? He continued to ponder the situation. Not having met Leonard yet this day Barry remembered the months he spent with Oliver. Sneaking out each week, spending hours, sometimes days with Oliver. Never telling anyone only because Oliver was running for Mayor. He walks back to Joe's to drop the items off, packing the letters into a box and shoving it under his bed to read again sometime if his future self feels the need to. He decided he should write down what's happened so far and continue the second half of the day in writing before bed.

 

          _7/3/16_

_This morning I didn't feel panicked for not remembering where I was, why I was there, and what happened. I made breakfast and had a family breakfast since Joe woke up and Iris joined us. I made her. After breakfast Iris suggested I go pick up the built up mail at my apartment. I agreed. Since I am recovering and techinically unstable I can't live alone. I found some texts and voice messages from Oliver, while I was in the coma. Most of them were him asking for me to come back, he went nine months haven't no idea where I was._

_He still loves me, even after leaving without explaination. We spent a day together yesterday. He understands that I might pick Len. He will always be a part of  my life. And I haven't met Leonard yet today. I feel like I know him. And I know I met him at Jitters. But I don't know, him. I am going to go to Jitters to meet him today. I'm kind of nervous if yesterday I loves him and couldn't decide who I loved more. Today It's different. Like I know I love Oliver. But this Len, he sounds nice. He brought me home yesterday, and he took care of me when I was upset. He made sure I was okay before leaving, I kinda made him leave because he worked last night, but either way. I think it'll go well today._

 

Barry left again only taking his phone, he walks to Jitters, it's farther than his apartment so it might take longer. Barry walks into Jitters, it's almost 2pm. He looks around and chooses the most familiar location, a familiar man sitting in the booth. He orders his coffee and approachs nervously. the man looks up and smiles. Barry smiles back, it feels like home just smiling at him. This is no doubt Leonard, Len. Barry instantly understands why he loved both men the previous day. Why it's so stressful to deal with such emotions.

"Hey, Barry. Wasn't sure I'd see you today." Barry nods and sits down.

"I was getting some things from my apartment and bringing them to Joe's. Since I can't live alone for a while." Barry explains getting a nod from Len. "This might be a weird questions. But. How long do you think I'll be like this?" Barry asks and Len furrows his brows.

"I'm not sure. Iris has been super thrilled. Since I met you, you remember things, you remembered your time with Oliver. You remembered my work schedule." Len said and Barry nods. He had remembered things that weren't written down. Like he very well does remember telling Len he loves him, and Len telling him he loves him too. Barry smiled at the memory, happy he remembered it after meeting Len again.

"So, this morning I woke up and I didn't really mind the mess of my life." Barry said and Len chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah? Which mess?" he jokes and Barry laughed shaking his head.

"Any of it really. Between my past, present and future feelings, my amnesia, the lightning, being upgraded to a millennial without knowing, suddenly I do yoga?? I don't know. It's all fine. I'm kind of glad it happened." Barry says and Len looks confused.

"Well, if I hadn't gotten struck by lightning, I'd never meet you. I'd never like yoga. You wouldn't have ever met Oliver. All kinds of good came from it. Yeah at the cost of me forgetting every morning, some extreme scarring, and nine months of my life, but i'm fine with those losses. I might eventually regain all my memory, but if I don't my life will be confusing, and difficult but it's something as long as I know you." Barry said and Len smiles looking to the table.

"I guess I'm glad it happened too." Len said and Barry grinned.

"Good. If you wouldn't be glad I'd have to leave." Barry barked out a small fit of laughter shook his head. 

"I wouldn't leave. I like you too much even thought I can find you here or at your apartment." 

"Yeah." Len chuckled with a small smirk then froze. "Did you write that down?" Barry shakes his head and smiles.

"That's awesome. You remember my address?" Len asks and Barry nods releasing a...giggle? _Cute._

"Yeah. I um I guess." Barry beams and gulps down the rest of his coffee.

"Wanna do something?" he asks with almost a new energy. Len nods with a shrug.

"Sure. Like what?"

"Um, we can watch a movie, then go out to eat?" Barry offered unsure.

"Sounds good. I'll text Lisa that I'll be out tonight" Len said pulling his phone out of his pocket and shooting out a text to his younger sister.

"Okay, when Iris calls I'll explain where I am" Barry said and Len nodded standing up, Barry followed suit and picked up the cups. They disposed of the to-go cups end exited Jitters.

"Here, I drove." Len pointed to the motorcyle and pulled a spare helmet out of the seat and handed it to Barry.

"Thanks. I never rode on a motorcyle. Mostly because Joe said they were too dangerous. But also because the oportunity never presented itself." Barry yanked the helmet over his head as Len mounted the bike and started it. Barry got on behind him his heart racing, he wrapped his arms around Len's torso gripping the shirt tightly. Len started driving towards the theater, across the city, so a long trip in the Sunday traffic. Barry's mind traveled and he shut his eyes relaxing. He remembered, chain, blue, red, green chemicals. Glass breaking. Leaking window, storm. Papers everywhere. Lightning. He jumped from his thoughts looking around gasping. Len looked to him.

"Barry? Are you okay?" He asked hearing the panting gasps from Barry. Barry shook his head and Len pulled over. Barry got off pulling off the helmet. He was hyperventilating and pacing. Len propped the cycle up and pulled his helmet off. Barry was holding his head and shaking, gasping for a proper intake of air.

"Barry, Barry listen to me. Calm down." Barry shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes.

"I. I remembered." Barry panted and wiped at his face.

"What?"

"I um. I remembered. The lightning. And glass, and chemicals. I was." He sniffled and looked around, "I was holding the chain. I was. I." He panicked pacing and pulling at his hair. "I was standing in the water from the ceiling window thing. I was." Barry shook more. Len stopped him from moving.

"Barry, I'm going to need you to calm down. Relax. Breath in for eight seconds. Ready?" Barry nods, "One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Hold for four. One. Two. Three. Four. Release in seven." Barry followed every word Len said, in a deep calm drawl while resting his hands on Barry's arms, rubbing small calming circles with his thumbs for comfort. "One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven." Barry sighed and sniffled leaning forward and resting his forehead on Len's chest. Len instantly taking Barry into his arms, his hands running over Barry's back.

"You okay?" Barry nodded, "You're safe, you're here. With me." Barry nodded again. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I remembered the night I got hit. I was in my lab, I just got back from Starling. I left Oliver without a note, and I remember trying to remind myself to text him. And I was finishing work, when I noticed the skylight thing was open so I went to close it. I didn't realise I was in a puddle of water. I grabbed the chain and pulled it. Right before it happened I realised my mistakes. Then it happened. I could feel the lightning, it was so bright. I fell into a shelf of chemicals. Papers, glass, chemicals, water, everywhere then I can't remember anything else." Barry said Len nodded and slowly released Barry.

"Do you want to go back home? Or still the movie?" Len asked and Barry thought. "I guess, I should go home." Barry said sheepishly and Len nodded.

"What ever's best for you Barry." Len said and Barry smiled picking the helmet off the ground and putting it back on.

"Today's a weird day." Barry said and Len nodded mounting, Barry followed. He drove back to Joe's house, Joe was there by now, Iris wasn't. Joe smiled upon seeing Barry and Len.

"There you are Barr. I almost began worrying." He said and Barry smiled. 

"Yeah, I was with Len. I have to write today in my notebook, but I'll be down in maybe twenty minutes. Joe nodded pointing to the stairs.

"I guess I should um leave." Joe shook his head and waved Len closer.

"Now sit down you. I need to talk to you about Barry. I know when something happens. What happened today?" He asked and Len nodded, feeling like it's not his place to tell Joe what Barry remembered unless Barry wants him to.

"Well, we were going to watch a movie, and he remembered something. I don't really thing I should be telling you, but I'm sure Barry will tell you when he gets down." Joe nodded.

"I just wanted to make sure he was alright. Nothing bad happened?" He asked and Len shook his head, despite the panic attack, breakdown minutes before.

"Okay. I trust you. I'm glad Barry has someone like you around." Joe said and  Len smiled.

"One other thing did, um happen." Len said and Joe raised his brow.

"Well, I didn't know you didn't want him to, but when we were driving, well. I was driving. And he was riding-"

"Get to the point Leonard." He said with a chuckle.

"He was on my motorcycle." Len said and Joe nodded.

"You're lucky I trust you. Have you ever gotten in a crash on one?" Len shook his head, "Ever gotten injured? or Injured anyone else?" Len shake shis head again, "Good. You give him a helmet?" Len nodded this time, "I always keep a spare." Joe nodded and smiled again. 

"Keep my boy safe." He Len nodded and got up to leave. Barry rushed down the stairs and smiled, "Okay."

"Aww. Len. Are you leaving?" Len stopped and sighed looking to Joe who raised his brow.

"Well. I guess I already told Lisa I wasn't gonna be home for a while longer. I can stay, if you want." He trailed off and Barry smiled.

"Yay! I'm gonna order pizzas and we can watch a movie." Barry said and picked up the house phone turning back to Len, "You guys can choose which one." Len sighed and turned to Joe who nodded towards the movies.

Len decided on Die Hard, insisting to Barry it's a classic. Joe agreed and joined Len's decision. Barry broke and nodded, minutes later the pizzas arrived and Barry was flopped on the cough munching away talking over the movie. 

"Yeah, and I was trying to explain to Oliver that no, it is physically impossible to create absolute zero. Like that's over negative 4000 kelvin. Scientists have gotten close, like -3849 but not quite." Barry bit into the pizza and continued talking after swallowing.

"Then he said that he was positive scientist could create absolute zero, and that they have. And I had to explain to him again, that the only way someone could create abosute zero is if the world was Torus, the core wouldn't be in the center, but a cresent shape. And the center of the atmosphere would bounce minerals between itself and that's how you can creat absolute zero." Barry said shaking his head. Len and Joe were both staring at him while he spoke, the movie forgotten about as Barry continued. It's not that they were interested but when Barry explained things he talked louder than the movie, so there was no point in watching.

"Then a different day he said the Silver Surfer was as fast as light and I had to remind him and Silver Surfer is liquid silver when he runs, and liquid silver only moves at 99% speed of light about 1890 miles per second, that's like 6,804,000 miles per hour." Barry rolled his eyes. When the movies ended Len got up and streched.

"I should get home. I'll see you tomorrow?" He questioned and Barry nodded. Joe waved and received a wave in return.

"Bye Barry, Bye Joe." He left and Joe turned to Barry.

"What happened today?" He asked and Barry shook his head blushing.

"Wha um nothing. I just had coffee with him." Joe shook his head and stopped Barry from talking more.

"No, Not that. I don't want to know about that. Ever. What happened. I can tell when you are trying to hide something." Joe explained and Barry nodded.

"Yeah, well we were going to go to the movies, and I was riding his... motorcycle, and I was nervous about it because you don't want me or Iris on them, but I was just letting my mind travel when I remembered. I rememebred the lightning." Barry trailed off looking around.

"I had my eyes closed and remembered it so well. It scared me and I panicked and Len pulled over and I was panicking. Like a lot. I couldn't think clearly, I was pacing, and I couldn't breath." Barry said and Joe sighed.

"That's not good Barr."

"I know, but Len calmed me down, and he asked if I wanted to come home or go to the movies still. I said home so yeah." Joe nodded to Barry. 

"You should go to bed Barr, You've had a long day." Barry nodded and Joe stood up as well and pulled Barry into a hug. Barry hugging him back.

"I was feeling content with everything today too. Then that happened." Barry said and Joe nodded.

"I understand. But we can get throught this. You have me, Iris, Leonard, Oliver, Eddie, Miss Henderson, Captain Singh misses you." Joe said and Barry nodded.

"G'night Barry."

"Night Joe." Barry left up the stairs and finished off his journal.

_Part two 7/2/16_

_I met up with Len, things were great. I instantly knew I love him, I recognized him. He felt like home, just talking to him. After a bit, I said we should watch a movie then go out to eat. One the drive there, I remembered the lightning. It was the second most terrifying moment of my life. I remembered it like this._

_I was getting off the train from Starling, I walked to the station because Captain Singh needed me and it was urgent. He scolded me for not actually being sick, and for missing work so often to dissappear off to Starling. He told me he wouldn't tell Joe about it, and I went to my lab. When I walked in it was storming out, the skylight was open just a crack. I ignored it at first. I was mentally myself to remember to text Oliver when he gets up, and also to close that when I finish. I was writing reports that I was supposed to have finished. I got rained on and the water ruined my reports so I got up and began pulling the chain to close the window. I knew my mistake instantly. I was standing in a puddle, and I was holding the chain. The lightning came in, it was blinding. I could feel the electricy enter through my hands and run all over my body to my feel. I remember how it felt, like I was getting burnt all over, and the cracks of electricty. I remember falling into a shelf of chemicals, they were broken. I felt myself get cut by the glass, the chemicals over my body, then I couldn't see, and then I shook myself from the memory._

_I was terrifyed. Len pulled over and I had a major panic attack. I couldn't see, I was shaking, I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. I felt sweaty, and shaky then I heard him. I felt him. He was holding me, and he told me to breath. He counted for me, and I was scared and he brought me back. He conforted me, and asked me if I still wanted to watch a movie. We went home and watched a movie, I talked over it the whole time, because it didn't seem that fun. I this is was Die Hard. Joe and Len said it was a classic. I told Joe what happened, I wasn't going to at first, but he knows when I don't tell him something. I didn't explain it. ButAt least he knows._

_You Truly_

_Barry_

_Ps. Get what I did there? Rather than Yours Truly I wrote You Truly. Because you read this and I'm you. Yeah. Jokes..._

Barry set the notebook down and got ready for bed settling into the cool sheets with a sigh. Hoping that tomorrow will be like today.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos, and bookmarking. If there are any spelling or grammar errors please comment and tell me. If you have any questions, or comments please tell me and I will answer. I always answer.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happens that Barry wasn't ready for, and no one was around to help. Len and Barry finally get to a movie. What movie was it again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about this while baking a cake.
> 
> Warning: Content ahead contains Panic Attacks, and Blood. If you are not comfortable with either of the two topics begin reading at the bolded page split.
> 
> A year later I'm going back re reading and fixing things and I'm baking a cake. It was meant to be

Barry restfully sleeps, a gentle snore escaping his lips, when it happened. He awoke from an aggressive rumble vibrating through the house. He looks around in a panic. 

_What's happening? Where am I? Joe?_

A bright flash blinds Barry through the windows. He gets up and looks around. Shallow breathing fills the silence until another rumbling crack and a flash fills the room. Bare feet padding against old word floors through the house to Joe's room. Empty.

Joe was working late. Tears fall down Barry's face, a flash makes him jump again. He rushes to the kitchen to get water to calm himself, the rumbling shakes the glassware as he reaches a couple of cups fall from the cupboard shattering on the counter and ground around Barry's bare feet.

Broken glass, chemicals, lighting. Pain everywhere. Barry feels light headed and whines at the memory. Gonna get struck. He pulls at his hair. The glass on the floor, the shelves, the burn of chemicals over the lacerations. Hands burn as 53,540 degrees in electricity break the sky light, travel through the chain he was holding, entering his body. Can't find an escape, moving all the way to his toes and through the wet heels of his shoes.

He forgets about water and tries his best to step over the cups, failing cutting the bottom of his feet in several places. He winces but continues through the house to the closest land line and picks it up to call Joe.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

"You have called Detective Joe West's personal phone. I can't pick up right now. Leave a message."

Barry's hands shake as he speaks in tears. "Joe? I'm scared." Light fills the room for a brief moment blinding the terrified brunette. He whimpers sniffling looking around.

"I don't like this. Um storm. I I can't breath. I don't know what to do." He hangs up crying more he runs up the stairs and tries to lay in bed covering himself with the blanket but he doesn't stop him from hearing or feeling the thunder. He gets up again and grabs his phone calling Iris. She didn't pick up either. He scrolls and finds a familiar name.  _Oliver._

He presses call. The phone rings into voicemail. He jumps at another loud crash after a blast of light. He scrolls more and gives up not recognizing most the names. He sits on the couch again not able to sit still shifting every few seconds in preparation of more lighting and thunder.

"Where are you Joe?" He whines and whimpers whiles again pacing through the house. He opens the front door and looks for Joe's car. He begins feeling dizzy from too much oxygen. He slows his breathing but was met with more lightning. He turns and slams the door shut. He dashes up the stairs and opens Iris' room despite knowing she wouldn't be there. He opens Joe's door again closing it finding no one yet again. He again cowers into his bedding and crying trying his best to fell asleep despite getting woken from the mid sleep trance almost every minute.

Hours later he is again ripped from near sleep by the front door shutting. He gets up and runs down the stairs seeing Joe, returning from an overnight shift. He hugs Joe tears trailing down his cheeks. The storm barley audible anymore.

"Hey Barr? You alright?" Barry shook his head.

"A storm." He whimpers and Joe wraps his arms around the younger man. Joe flicks on the light and gasps. A few small pieces of glass near the door to the dining room and kitchen, but a long trail of bloody foot prints, smudged into the living room rugs, and smeared over the wood flooring. A constant path a clear sign of everywhere Barry had gone in a panic.

"What happened?" Joe asked and Barry whined trying to relax.

"I. I wanted water and cups fell. And I called you, and left a message, and I called Iris, and Len, and Oliver. But no one picked up. I thought I was alone. I don't want to get hit by lighting again." Joe shushed him gently patting the scared man's back.

"Don't worry, I'm here. Let's get this glass out of your foot, and you into bed." Barry nodded to his father figure.

The cleaning of the wounds was the worst, nothing too deep for hospitalization, but there were fifteen cuts total, seven in the right, eight in the left. Barry wincing at every piece of glass removed and antibacterial spray, and ointment. The only part Barry didn't mind was a simple bandage wrapped around the base of Barry's feet. To avoid over usage of bandaids.

By the time Joe finished the storm was long gone and he gently tucked the tired man into bed, for some actual rest. He reminds himself to sweep up the glass, leaving the bloody footprints until morning.

The next morning Barry wakes up tiredly and feels pain in his feet and grumbles. He looks around, confused. Until he spots blood on the floor. After a moment of just staring wide eyed at the blood he moves to get up but stops when spotting a notebook. He quickly reads through. He was suddenly hit with the terrifying memory of a storm a moment later, and instantly began writing down that yes he is afraid of storms. He begins shaking with the memory.

When he finished he got up and slowly limped through the house as his feet hurt. A couple bloody footprints through the house he ignored them the memory still slightly confusing but he picked up on the fact that he had stepped on glass. He found Joe in the kitchen mopping in the kitchen.

**\----------------------------------------**

"Hey Barr. How're you feeling?" He asked with a concerned tone. Barry shrugs with a small sigh.

"Good, better than last night." Barry replied looked around trying to forget the images of bright flashes and the deep rumble and initial clap of thunder.

"Well, I have work again in a couple minutes here. If you need anything call work. Call Leonard too. I'm sure he can get here faster than I can." Joe says and Barry nods wrapping his arms around himself.

"And if you feel up to it, can you maybe finish mopping up?" Barry nods easily taking hold of the mop from Joe, and he left. Barry took care of mopping first and sat down on the couch.

_I should do something today. Like actually make it to the movie theater with Len. Or try to remember some stuff. But that could stress me out, and I could disassociate with no one to help._

Barry shrugs and decides to ask Len to the movies again. He grabs his phone and finds Len's number. He dials and listens to the ring.

"Hello?" Barry smiled. He picked up, unlike last night.

"Len? Um. Well. I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie today? And hopefully get to see it." Barry questioned nervously. He can recognize the voice but doesn't remember what the man looks like. He shrugs it off and hopes he gets a yes.

"Um yeah. Definitely. I can come over right now and we can decide on a movie there." Len said, blankets moving and a bed creaking.

"Sure that would be great." Barry bit his lip with a smile. He sat down again and reminding himself about his feet. There was a small chuckle across the line. Barry listened as there was more shifting, the sound of fabrics sliding across more fabric, and then a sigh.

"I'm on my way, be there in five minutes. Do you want to ride in a car? Or is my bike fine?" He asks and Barry shrugs.

"I'm fine with anything." He said as he lifts the bandages from his feet peeling back the scabbed cotton reopening several of the larger wounds. He releases the fabric letting it re cover the wounds hiding the damage.

"Okay, see you soon Barry." Len said and Barry hummed in reply the call ends and Barry runs up the steps to change and make sure he looks presentable. He steps gently and slides on his converse. In three minutes there was a knock and Barry opened it with a smile. Getting met with the familiar face of Len.

"You ready?" Barry nods and follows Len to the bike, a helmet is gently slide over his head by Len. Len mounts and Barry follows, wrapping his arms around Len's torso, keeping close to the man. Being sure to keep his eyes open, and not letting his mind wander this time. No more terrifying memories.

In ten minutes they arrived at the picture house. After both dismounting the bike and looking at the movie choices. They end up choosing a random movie they both never heard of. Len bought popcorn and drinks for the both of them, and they took their seat. The theater was pretty packed so they were stuck in the back rather than the preferable middle seats. They sit down and look to the screen.

About ten minutes in Barry grew bored and looked to Len who was watching Barry. A blush covered Barry's cheeks.

"Len?" Barry whispers and Len just smiles.

"Yeah Barry?"

"You're staring at me." Barry's voice was probably louder than he thought but he didn't care.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because, I think you're beautiful." Len replies earning another dark blush from Barry.

"Len." Barry bit his lip again and Len leaned closer, until Barry could feel Len's warm breath against his ear.

"You should be watching the movie."

"You were the one staring at me, and the movie is boring." Barry spoke softer than before.

"Oh. Do you want to leave?" Barry shook his head.

"That would be rude." Barry said. His eyes fell to Len's hand, resting open on the arm rest in between them. Barry slid his hand into Len's rough one, lacing their fingers together. 

Len smiled and finally began watching the movie, as did Barry he wasn't paying attention as it was a very boring movie. After the movie was over Len offered lunch and Barry accepted quickly.

"That would be nice." Barry smiled, their fingers still laced together. Len nodded and brought Barry to a cafe Barry had never seen before.

"I've never been here." Barry said and Len nodded. Sitting at a booth table, Barry sliding in next to him rather than letting go of his hand.

"Most people don't hear of it. But they got very good soups." Len said and Barry nodded. Len ordered for Barry claiming their potato soup was best of the us. Len turned to Barry a second later.

"Hey, I forgot to ask you. I noticed when you called this morning that I missed a call from you around midnight." Len trailed off and Barry sighed with a small nod.

"Yeah. There was a storm last night. And I was scared, no one would pick up. And I was kind of panicking really bad, I actually cut my feet by accident. On a couple broken cups." Barry explained looking to the table.

"Oh Barry, I'm sorry. I should have picked up, but my sister had my phone because hers was dead, and she was talking to a friend. I won't miss a call from you again. I promise." Len said releasing Barry's hand and wrapping his around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug. Barry smiled his hands gently clinging to the other man.

Their food arrived and they ate in silence for a while then Len started talking about work last night. Barry watched Len talk and smile as he spoke. His eyes squinted as a laugh escaped his lips. It's almost like time slowed down while Barry took in every detail of the man next to him.

The way he easily falls into conversation, and how he is happy as long as Barry's happy. Barry slid his hand over Len's shoulder pulling him down into a kiss. Len's eyes widened at the sudden contact, Barry isn't sure what made him do it but. He felt as if he had to.

A second later Len relaxed and returned the gently kiss. Barry pulled back and smiled at the surprised expression in Len's face.

"Len?" Barry questioned quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." He said getting a confused look from Len. "For today, and for all the other times you were there for me. It may not have been a lot, but. It's enough." Barry said and Len instantly smiled at the brunette.

"I'll always be here for you." He adds and the waitress returns with the bill. Len paid and they left. Returning back to the West residence. Len follows Barry in sitting next to him on the couch.

Barry stared a head, in blinking for a bit. He feels weird, everything feels kind of fuzzy like its not really there. Thoughts travel through his mind. _Will I ever get my memory back? Does Len sympathize or is he always this protective? Why isn't Oliver here? Why was I struck by lightning? In a little over two months I will have lost a year of my life due to this lightning. Nine of them in a coma._

Barry looks to Len confused of what's happening, can't focus on Len. He feels like he's not really there. Then a soft voice enters his mind.

"Barry. Listen. You need to pay attention to my voice." Barry nodded staring at the distant image of Len.

"You're disassociating. You need to talk to me. My friend Shawna told me this happens."  _Happens? What?_

"Amnesiacs often get hit with panic attacks and disassociation episodes. Talk about anything." Barry's mind travels in thought.

_What do I talk about? Food? We just ate. That movie. What was it called? The smell of things? Why do I need to talk. Everything feels slow, and like its not even real. Right. Talk. Speak words. Any words._

"Um. Well. I feel like everything is going to disappear. And everything feels fuzzy, and like it's not really there." Len's gently hands slid over Barry's back, in a calming manor.

"Okay keep speaking."

"Well I don't know what to talk about. My favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast. I think it's the perfect childhood classic." Slowly the world came back and Barry felt normal again. He wrapped his arms around Len looking around.

"I don't like that." Barry said softly. As soon. As something good happens, more bad fills it in. Like remember getting struck yesterday, the storm last night, and now this stupid disassociation episode. Len returned the embrace and nodded.

"Its okay Barry. It happens to amnesiacs some times. And it can typically mean that you could be close to full recovery." That made Barry smile.

"I'll get you some water. And you can fill in your notebook." Len got up and Barry watched him. A minute later Len had a cup of water and his notebook with a pencil. Barry sipped the water and began writing.

_7/4/16_

_There was a storm, it's terrifying. If there is a storm find someone nearby to help, I just my feet on cups I dropped, I'm surprised I don't need stitches. You feet will be sore for a couple days, but don't worry, Joe said they should heal up soon. I made it to the movies with Len. It was a bad movie and I don't remember what its called._

_We then went to a diner I've never heard of, it was nice. And well. I kissed him. It was spur of the moment. And it was magical. I wanted it to last forever._

_When we returned home, I disassociated from the earth. It was terrifying. Not as bad as the storm. Or remembering the lightning. But it couldn't focus on what left was saying, I felt like I was underwater, like I could hear but not listen. He got me to talk while lost, and he told me. I'm close to remembering everything. I hope so. I don't want more of those._

_Barry Allen._

Barry finished and set the pencil down looking up to Len who was just watching quietly. Barry smiled at him and rose from the couch and stepped towards Len, who was currently resting in a chair across the room. Barry saw Len's eyes rise up meeting Barry's gaze. The tension built in the room silently as Barry watched Len comprehend the situation. Len rose to his feet and easily wrapped his arms around the thin brunette. Barry fell into the embrace happily.

They stayed quiet in each other's arms for a.couple minutes, even breathing filling the room until Len spoke up.

"I can feel you're heart." His grumbly voice filled Barry's ear.

"It's beating really fast." Len said and Barry nodded and taking a deep breath.

"Barry? You don't have to be nervous around me." Len said grabbing Barry's upper arms and pulling from the hug, establishing eye contact.

"I won't ever let you get hurt, and I will never hurt you." Len spoke seriously and softly. Barry nodded to Len and sighed.

"I'm not nervous." He lied, he is very nervous. Just not for the reason's Len believes.

"You're lying."

"I am nervous, but its not because I think I'll get hurt." Len's brows knitted together in confusion.

"I am nervous because well um." Barry stopped fumbling with words and pulled Len down again pressing their lips together once again. Len wrapped his arms around Barry's waist, his hands resting over the small of Barry's back. Barry could feel Len's fingers press the cotton of his shirt into his skin, Len's lips soft again his own.

They pulled apart for a moment staring at each other again. This time Len leant forward pressing a kiss to the corner of Barry's lips. Barry released a shaky breath gazing at Len, his pupils blown wide taking in details of the other man.

"Len." Barry whispered filling the temporary silence.

"Barry." Len whispered in return, pulling Barry closer to him, until they were chest to chest. Barry gripped the back of Len's neck, his thumbs sliding over the shaved hair there. 

"Barr, I have work, and you should get to bed. Call me if anything happens." It didn't even feel that late. Barry didn't want to let go, he didn't want to forget. He just wants to stay with Len.

"I don't want to." Barry mumbled burying his face in Len's shoulder. Wrapping the entire length of his arms around the broad shoulders of Len.

"I don't want to go to let go, or go to bed, or forget. I don't want to forget. I never want to forget again." The small whines left Barry's lips before he could stop them. Len gently rubbed his back and kissed his temple. 

"I'll be here when ever you call, whether its an emergency or not. I will talk for as long as you need. I promise. But I do have to go, whether you sleep or not is up to you. I would prefer if you got some sleep." Len reminded. Barry reluctantly released the older man and followed him to the door.

"Bye Len." Len kissed the top of Barry's head. The brunette leans into the contact savoring the last moments.

"Goodbye Barry, see you in the morning. Don't forget to call." Len said before opening the door. Slowly the hardwood door shut. For a couple minutes Barry stared at the wood as if it betrayed him. He found his way upstairs clutching the notebook and pencil. Scribbling down the last few lines on the PS.

_PS. I kissed Len again. I felt as if I could fly. I'm not sure if anything else was going to happen. But I felt like it was. Going to happen.I bet it'd be magical. Like when I was with Oliver... The first time was amazing. It was like a dream._

Barry sighed and laid back on the bed and soon dozed off. Falling into a dreamless sleep. Or so he'd thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. If you see any spelling or grammar errors comment and I'll try to fix it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len and Oliver finally break and begin fighting upsetting Barry.

Oliver stared across the room at the other man who calmly sipped the cool water. His eyes narrowed as Barry continued talking about this movie he watched when he was a kid. It was fascinating but he couldn't pay attention to what Barry was saying,  _Len_ was distracting him. Of course he liked Len, but Barry likes Len. Oliver was in love with Barry first, knew Barry longer, and better. It's only fair if he gets him back. Just because Barry went nine months of a coma, and he didn't know didn't make him a bad lover. He was never informed about the situation. Because no one else knew he and Barry were lovers. Not Joe, not Iris, not Felicity, not Eddie. Dig knew because he found out himself. He's a smart man. But as of right now, Len was in love with  _his_ Barry. Barry loves Len, and Oliver. But Oliver doesn't share well.

Len knew something was up with Oliver, the dark blonde's blue eyes were trained on him throughout most this morning. Len doesn't remember doing anything to piss the man off. Every once in a while the man would glare and grunt in acknowledgement to what Barry was saying. Len listened to Barry, his giggles and grins helping him ignore the silently fuming man across the room. Barry smiled and rose from his seat.

"I'll be right back you guys." Barry climbed the stairs up to the bathroom and instantly Len turned to Oliver.

"What's with you today?" Len asked in a snappy tone. Oliver rolled his eyes.

"I didn't say anything." Oliver snapped back and Len glared.

"You don't have to. I'm not stupid. You've been glaring at me the whole time. Did you even listen to Barry?" Len asked his eyebrows furrowing together. His voice raising in anger towards the man.

"Yes! Of course I listened to Barry! I always listen." Oliver raised his voice over Len's. 

"What's your issue, Oliver!" Len asked flailing his hands in his personal space showing his anger.

"You!" Oliver shouted, and Len rolled his eyes.

"I'm not doing anything wrong! I haven't done anything wrong! The only thing I've done was be there for Barry when YOU aren't around!" Len pointed shouting more. Loud thumps went unheard, as Barry ran down the stairs seeing both men standing across the living room screaming at one another.

"I can't help but have a job! And my little sister in Starling!" Oliver edged closer to Leonard and Len inched closer to Oliver. Barry began panicking, he definitely could not stop either of the men from a physical encounter. So he did what he could. Began shouting as well.

"Oliver! Len! Stop shouting!"

"As soon as you were even informed what was going on with Barry you still left! You couldn't be there for him! So I was! You can't get mad at me for that! Would you rather I ignore him? Not comfort him when he remembered what it was like to get struck by lightning? Would you rather me do that?" Len screamed and Oliver glared. If looks could kill, Len would be dead. Multiple times.

"I have responsibilities! You're just a god damned bartender! Not like you help anyone but the alcoholics!" Oliver screamed Barry looked between them not knowing what to do. Until he picked up the phone and called Joe.

"I help plenty of people, like Barry, my little sister, Iris! The people that matter! What do you do? Manage a company? Drop out of mayoral campaigns? You're a huge help to society! You were kicked from almost every Ivy League school in the country! You don't even have a proper education!" Barry listened nervously to the shouting and finally Joe picked up.

"Joe! Oliver and Len are screaming and I don't know what to do!" Barry said in a rush.

"Calm down Barr. What's happening?"

"I LOVED HIM FIRST!" Oliver screamed and the room froze. Barry heard Joe stop mid sentence, informing that he'd be there. Len stared at Oliver. Silence rung over the room. The tension was building Barry could barely breath. No one knew what to say. Oliver was panting anger. No. Brutal ferocity painted on Oliver's expression. Barry looked to Len who was looking to him. Oliver was staring straight at Len no sign he was going to give up in the verbal war.

"Barr? Is everything okay? What happened?" Barry turned from the two men and walked back up the stairs to keep the conversation from the two men.

"Oliver and Len started fighting. I don't know what happened. Everything was going fine before I went to the bathroom. And I came down and they were screaming at each other. Then Oliver screamed. It's quiet now. I don't think anything else will happen. If it does, I'll call." Barry finished and Joe hummed agreeing with the plan. Barry descended back down the stairs. Oliver was still staring at Len and Len was now glaring back. They were talking, but quieter than before.

"You have no right. You're just trying to pretend this never happened. Get over yourself. Barry isn't the same." Len said and Oliver glanced to Barry before continuing.

"I wouldn't pretend this didn't happen. I know it happened. I was left for nine months, I thought he was never coming back. But guess what. He did. And I would never leave him. Even if he doesn't love me. I will always provide for him. I love him. The nine months he was gone, I couldn't feel. Not having Barry with me is reliving Lian Yu and worse." Oliver said, he was way calmer than before but still agitated.

"I may not have known Barry for as long as you but it doesn't mean I don't love him just as much as you do." Len said and Barry stepped between them.

"Stop." He said quietly at first, yet they continued.

"You can't pretend knowing Barry for two months will allow you to feel the same love I have for him." Oliver shot back.

"STOP! STOP STOP! I can't deal with this. If you can't fucking shape up! Leave! I just wanted to have a fun day with two of the most important people in my life. If you can't deal with each other for that long you have to go!" Barry screamed, both the other men snapped their heads in his direction. Silence filled the room once again. 

"I-I'm sorry, Barry." Oliver said looking to the ground. Len stared at Barry then Oliver and sighed.

"Sorry, Barry." Len says a moment later. Things go quiet and then Barry groans leaving the room, mumbling to himself.

"Look what you did. You made him leave." Len blames Oliver.

"I didn't do it. I would've been perfectly fine just glaring at you the whole day." Oliver quips crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, I didn't do anything. So I don't know why you felt you had to glare at me." Len turns away from Oliver and Oliver chuckles.

"You're so childish." Oliver poke at Len. Len spun back around and throws his hands into the air.

"Says the man who wanted to glare at me for the whole day." Len rolled his eyes at Oliver.

"You're the one who snapped at me first." Oliver said releasing a puff of air. Len glared at the other man and sighs, crossing his arms.

"I'm not leaving, so either you have to get over yourself or come back some other day." Len said with an eerily calm tone. 

"I'm not leaving either!" Oliver rushed out, raising his voice again. Almost like a toddler trying to prove to their parents that they hadn't done anything wrong.

"God! I get it, you're not leaving. You don't need to shout. You're literally the same as a small child, you whine until you get what you want. A spoiled brat." Len spat angrily reseating himself on the couch.

"I'm not being a child." Oliver said stepping toward Len. Len scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Yes you are, you grew up getting anything you want, with your rich family. Business dad, snob mother. Bratty sister." Len said and Oliver glared once again.

"Don't talk about my family. I never asked for my father to never be home and always working, I never asked for my mother to cheat on my dad with several other men, including my father's butler, and my best friends father. My father used money to buy a big boat. But that same boat ended his life and I was there with him, my mother was murdered in front of my sister and I, and my best friend is dead because of them." Oliver yelled holding back tears. Len glared.

"Up until 2012 you had a great life. My sister and I didn't. My father abused my sister and I, my mother left before I was born, and my sister mother died. My father is still out there because the damned government couldn't prove that he was abusing us. I did everything I could to keep his fucking hands off my sister. I lived on the streets for years before I could find enough money to live somewhere." Len said and Oliver just stared at him. Barry stood in the doorway staring at the two men not saying anything, just taking in what he heard. He hadn't known Oliver's mother was gone now too, and he hadn't known Len was abused as a child. True colors were showing.

"Screw it. I'll spend time with Barry some other day, where YOU aren't here to ruin it!" Len shouted and stormed out of the house and down the street ignoring his motorcycle resting in the driveway. Oliver sat down and sighed, burying his face in his hands shaking his head. Barry slowly and silently approached Oliver, sitting next to him and resting his hand on the other man's back.

"It's not your fault he left." Barry commented and Oliver shrugged.

"I shouldn't said those things." Oliver said and Barry nodded.

"I know but, you both said some pretty bad things. Maybe we should let him cool down and we can call later." Barry said and Oliver sighs in defeat.

"Okay, I just should've said anything. I totally ruined the day all because I was jealous." He mumbled.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Len still have tension but are both determined to help Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was requested that I continue so thank your fellow readers!

Barry sat at home alone absentmindedly doodling in his notebook with the news on. Joe and Iris were both at work, and Barry decided he shouldn't bother Len when he's spending the day with Lisa. Oliver was probably busy with Arrow stuff or Queen Consolidated business so Barry decided he can spend a day alone. He heard the weather start and glanced up but then paid the television no mind.

"-vy storms are moving form the west toward the Central City area. Tornado warnings are starting now as the storm is moving fast. Make sure you stay inside and be safe out there." Barry's eyes snapped to the screen seeing the animated radar show thick red blotches crossed the map stopping over Central City then moving back and starting the loop over again. Barry's mind started panicking, remembering the lightning and the last storm he grabbed his phone and called Joe. He could already see the clouds crossing over the far end of the city and moving closer fast.

"Barry? What's wrong?" Joe asked into the phone.

"Storm." Was all Barry could get out before lighting shot across the sky in the distance and a slight rumble sounded, he squeaked and barely held onto the phone when he jumped.

"Storm?" Joe questioned and looked at the tv in the bullpen seeing the radar and warnings. Suddenly Captain Singh was heard talking to the detectives and officers. "Barry, he just told we are not to leave the precinct, the storm is coming in too fast for anyone to get home in time." He said and Barry whined seeing the storm moving in, like it was here just to torment him. "Call Oliver and Len. I'll see if I can convince him to let me leave." Barry hummed and said a quick bye before hanging up and calling Len.

"Barry? Are you okay? I'm already on my way over, is Joe at work? What about Iris?" Len spat questions quickly as he was getting the keys for his car.

"I'm okay, but I can see it coming, Joe and Iris are at work." Another flash of lightning struck and Barry actually dropped the phone this time and sat on the ground next to it hiding himself from the window. He picked it up again and held it to his ear.

"I can't talk and drive in this weather, I'll be over as fast as I can, see if you can talk to Oliver while I drive over." he said getting in his car. Logically he knew he shouldn't, Barry's house was almost 30 minutes away, and with how hard the storm is coming in he wasn't going to make it across the city without getting caught in the middle. Barry hummed again and spat another goodbye and called Oliver.

"Hi Barry." He was the only one not sounding distressed at Barry's call, giving him a little bit of comfort.

"Oliver." Barry mumbled glancing over the couch as if Len would already be there.

"Want me to come over? I was in Central with a business meeting. I guess it's over now but I'd probably be twenty minutes." Oliver spoke seemingly unaware of the storm probably over his head.

"There's a storm. Len's coming but I don't know how long it'll take him." Barry jumped hearing thunder nearby, the clouds already over the house, making it dark, as if it wasn't 10 in the morning.

"Oh, I'll text him to pick me up." He said pulling the phone from his ear and texting Len informing him on his location and that it'll probably help Barry if they were both there. He seemed to agree and said he's be there in ten minutes. "Okay, Barry, let's get your mind off the storm. How about you find a pair of headphones first." Oliver instructed and Barry got up from the floor and began to search the house and eventually found a pair of over ear headphones.

"Okay, I found some."

"Plug them into your phone and put them on." Barry did as instructed not hearing the outside world very well, and hearing almost every sound in Oliver's surrounding area. Chatter of other men, and a few different papers sliding around and the sounds of pens writing on paper. "Alright, now can you find a duvet and a pillow?" Oliver's voice was deep and smooth, soothing Barry little by little as he still saw the bolt of electricity outside he jumped and started shaking more. He walked upstairs with his phone in his hand and pulled the duvet off his bed and grabbed the pillow from the head of it. He walked back to the living room.

"Okay, I did it." He said his voice shaky as he could feel tears well up in his eyes, wanting to run around the house and try to find Joe and Iris as if they were playing a prank and waiting for him to find them.

"Now get a bottle of water from the kitchen and lay down on the couch, cover yourself up and listen to me." When Barry completed that he heard heavy rain and winds through the headphones then a car door shutting, a small exchange between Len and Oliver and the sound of driving.

"Barry I'm gonna tell you about a movie and you have to guess which one I'm talking about." Oliver said and Barry hummed again squeezing his eyes shut trying not to see the lightning. "This one is about a guy, a cop, and he and his wife had been fighting so he wanted to surprise her during Christmas by visiting her work. She wasn't happy with him so she wasn't expecting him. When he got there some bad guys showed up and he had to save everyone in the office. And he tried his best, he fought those bad guys until everyone was saved, and his wife was happy and they weren't fighting anymore." Oliver said and Barry thought for a bit before recognizing the story.

"Die Hard." He said with a triumphant smile.

"Nice! Next one. This one is about a teenage boy who was caught stealing some shoes. He was told to work until his debt was paid, he made some friends at his place of work but his best friend didn't like to talk much. People said his friend was stupid but that didn't change how he looked at him, and he believed he was really smart. Eventually they ran away, but after a couple days they were running out of food, when they came across a farm of some sorts. They spent some time there before having to leave again. When they got back to their work they found out that the main character actually had lots and lots of money, and was able to bail from work, but refused to do it unless his friend could come with, then it rained and everyone was happy again." Len scoffed at the rough description ending with the weather.

"Holes." Barry said happy he could get it, "I want to try. Um, its a story about a girl who isn't like by her family much because she is kind of a rebel. They went on vacation and she was annoyed she had to be there until she met a guy who could dance. His dance partner suddenly had to leave, so she offered to help if he taught her how to dance. So he did, he spent the whole summer teaching her how to dance until finally they had to perform. She messed up but she was still happy should could perform for an audience. They performed a couple more times and finally her father said she couldn't dance with him anymore and she was really upset. So then he saved the day and danced with her anyways." Barry smiled hoping he did good.

"I'm going to have to say Dirty Dancing." Oliver said and they both laughed. Len looked over to Oliver then back to the road. Barry jumped seeing the lightning again covering his eyes.

"How about you drink some of that water now?" He suggested and Barry sat up a little bit and opened the water shakily and sipped from it before taking a bigger drink and closing it again. "Good, how about we play the word game. I say a word and you say the first word that comes to mind and so on." Barry liked that idea, it's easy and he doesn't have to think to hard to play it.

"Shoes." Oliver starts and they continue the game until Barry hears wind and rain again then the door is opening with Len and Oliver on the other side. Barry stood up and rushed towards them wrapping an arm around each one, feeling them easily hug him back.

"I was so scared." He says glad they were here. They shut the door and curtain then sat on the couch, Barry in the middle with the duvet draped over all three of them. A movie playing on the TV to distract from the sounds. Eventually the wind was started to sound really bad so they turned it up farther, it wasn't until the power turned off did they get up and move to the basement. Barry holding the duvet and pillow, bottle of water, phone, and notebook. And padding down the stairs into the cold basement.

"This is scary. I don't like this." He whined. Oliver stroked his hair and Len hushed him telling him he should try to sleep. He refused so he could write the day down, even though it wasn't much aside from watching the news and playing games with Oliver on the phone he still wrote it down before he slowly dozed off, head in Len's lap and legs across Oliver's. They didn't speak, the only sounds in the basement were winds rushing by and soft breaths from Barry.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storm worsens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:
> 
> I'm not sure if I need to but Barry has an anxiety attack.
> 
> If its triggering don't read. I don't want to hurt anyone with this.
> 
> This is not how all anxiety attacks feel, there are many different ways, this is just a really bad one and his they actually feel for me.

Barry woke up to a loud crash, quickly sitting up and looking around confused. He whined instantly feeling fear bubble up in him. He could barely make out a body next to him, unsure of who it is he shakes their shoulder. Another flash and the sound of glass breaking made him shake the person harder.

The outside sounds got louder and the room filled with wind. Splashes of rain fell to the ground across the room. The person sat up revealing a dark blonde man with a shortly trimmed beard across his jaw.

"Are you okay, Barry?" He questions receiving a whine in return as Barry practically threw himself into the man, burying his head into his chest.

"Leonard. Wake up." The man said pushing another person opposite of him. Said Leonard got up looking to Barry, barely making out their silhouettes. "I think the window broke, can you keep Barry over here?" The man asks Leonard who nods. Barry was gently 'passed' between the men as the first got up and walked away.

He used the flashlight on his phone to see the broken glass across the floor, he found a broom and swept it into a small pile out of the way keeping their bare feet safe from any shards, he rummage through some stuff until he found a tarp and a staple gun. He stapled the plastic sheet over the window keeping the rain out before returning to the two others.

"Do you remember who we are?" Len asks Barry who shakes his head.

"Well. How about we tell you rather than you reading in case you fall asleep again." The other suggests and Barry nods.

"I'm Oliver, and that's Len. We are your close, good friends. You called us over here this morning at the beginning of the storm." Oliver explains getting another nod from Barry.

"Have I always been afraid of storms?" Barry asks.

"No. Just recently." Len states and Barry nods shaking slightly. The wind stars picking up, and rain began to fall through the gaps between staples in the tarp.

"We might need to go back upstairs, it might begin to flood." Oliver comments making Barry nervous. He's not sure if he's more nervous about floods or going upstairs. His mind starts moving too fast, he can feel his heart pound against his chest faster and faster, he can't breathe. Its feels like something is standing on his chest. He tries heave in a breath but he can't, he begins hyperventilating.

Oliver and Len are trying to talk to him but he can't hear them over his thoughts. He tries to understand, to read their lips but he can't as his vision blurs with tears. His feet and hands feel cold. As if they're being dipped in snow. He can see the two other men standing up almost as if they were moving in slow motion. Len offering his hand. He takes it noticing his hand was wet. He looks to the floor seeing maybe three or four inches of water covering it throughout the whole basement. Slowly Barry turns his head to the window seeing an uneven stream of water come in from under the tarp.

They lead Barry to the stairs and halfway Barry starts pulling away not wanting to-go upstairs and closer to the storm. He tries pulling his hand from Len's trying to breath but only panicking further. Eventually he pulls from Len's grip and falls back down the stairs they had climbed. He lands in the water successfully getting him drenched in the ice cold water, he started fully crying. Both Oliver and Len were yelling but Barry wasn't sure if it was at him or not. Oliver bounds down the steps and lifts Barry into his arms in a bridal style but Barry grunts and turns trying to get out of Oliver's arms. He is shifted and repositioned until oliver has him over his shoulder holding Barry's legs against his chest and getting up the stairs.

Once at the top they bring Barry to the bathroom. Len left and Oliver stayed with Barry still talking but the word remain unheard. Barry feels himself shaking both from sobs wracking his body and being all over cold. Oliver was now holding a large towel and trying to get Barry dry. When Len returns he's his arms full of clothing and his hands with everyone's phones. Barry understand they are trying to get him warm and let's them pull the wet clothes from his body. The towel runs over his frame then a sweatshirt and a pair of sweet pants are pull over his naked form.

Oliver sat down in the tub after he and Len changed as well in sweet clothes. Barry was urged to climb in next calming down from panic to just crying, he does as instructed settling between Oliver's legs resting his back on Oliver's chest. Len climbs in last sitting opposite of the others glad it was a relativley large tub.

 Barry was suddenly hit by a wave of exhaustion and yawns through his slowing tears. His head was pounding his throat was raw. He let his eyes fall shut and fell asleep against Oliver hoping there wouldn't be a storm when he wakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took all day.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len and Oliver have a serious conversation then a conversation about their boy. The storm stops and Barry kind of remembers but can't find it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating the past two days, I had an existential crisis then slept the whole day yesterday.

Len stared at Barry and how at peace he is with Oliver most the time. He feels his heart breaking as he thinks about Barry not choosing to be with him, but understand why he might not be chosen. Oliver is everything, he's smart, he's rich, and he's handsome. Len is just well Len. A bartender that hates yoga but will do anything for his little sister. He saw how Oliver was sleeping, his arms wrapped protectively around Barry as the smaller man softly snores, completely unaware he will not remember most of this. Len hadn't slept a wink since they took cover in the tub, but Oliver and Barry had been sleeping for hours. Until now, where Oliver's eyes flutter open and lock onto Len's. Len blinks looking between Oliver and Barry again before Oliver looked away.

"Oliver." Len said thinking of what he was going to say, "I just want to make sure you know, that if Barry chooses you I understand. I won't blame you. It's not anyone's fault it's just I would have to take some time away from you guys. Before a couple days ago I hadn't had a friend like you, and before I met Barry it was only me and my sister and every once in a while Iris. You and Barry made me open up, and I want to thank you for that." Len said as he kept his eyes locked on Oliver, letting him know it's sincere. Oliver stared for a second, waking up and getting that from the last person he'd expect it from shocked him but he hummed before speaking.

"I have to apologize for the way I acted a couple days ago. I shouldn't have acted like such a child. It's pathetic. And I would like to say the same. If Barry chooses you, over me, I won't blame you. I'll have to forget how he'd felt in the past and accept he isn't the same as he used to be." He said in a tired grumble. Len nodded and they sat for a while before Oliver spoke again. "What's your favorite thing about him?" This caused Len to smile.

"I like how he doesn't watch movies, he just glances at a part and explains why it couldn't happen, and what would happen if it was possible. And the way he love sharing as much knowledge as he can as fast as he can." Len said chuckling at the memory. Oliver smiled in return looking to Barry in his arms. "What about you?"

"I like, well I'm not sure if he still does it or not, but when I used to tease him about something he would wrinkle his nose and puff his cheeks out in embarrassment and irritation. It was honestly the cutest thing he did." Oliver said laughing a bit before reaching to the toilet seat where their phones rest. He picks his up and scrolls through the photos then turns the phone towards Len. Len smiled at seeing the irritated Barry in such and adorable fashion.

"I'm not sure if he does that still or not." Len chuckles shaking his head.

"I hope he gets better. Like I hope he doesn't need a recap of his life every morning for the rest of his life." Oliver voices and Len nodded.

"I think he will, he's already getting better at remembering things." Len said, "He's remembered everything prior to the lightning now, he just needs a day to day guide." They spent an hour talking about Barry, the things they like about him, and the little things he does that makes him perfect. Like stick his tongue out while he's writing or concentrating. Like singing songs in the shower that he'd never admit to singing. eventually Len stood and stepped out of the bathroom and saw the clouds were clearing up and went back into the bathroom.

"Storms gone, let's get him in a real bed and start seeing how much water there is in the basement." Len says and lifts Barry from Oliver and carries him to his room laying him down leaving a note on where they will be if he needs anything. They opened the basement door and didn't see too much water, it wouldn't take that long for the pipes to drain it naturally so they decided on waiting to do anything.

The next day Barry wakes up sighs feeling like he had fallen down the stairs but at that thought a memory crossed his mind. Ahh yes, he did fall down stairs. He looked around feeling like he needs to do something. He found a note but he didn't feel like that's what he needs. He can kind of remember a storm. Two men, one of them Oliver, the other very familiar. Barry can remember the other one is a bartender, and he is nice but that's it. He left the room and found the two men on the couch watching a random show.

"Um. I don't know where it is." Barry said catching the attention of both men, he looked on the table where a cup of coffee and a cup of tea rested. He looked under the couch before walking out of the room.

"What are you looking for?" Oliver asks and Barry came back into the room and shrugged.

"I just know there is something I normally do in the morning but I don't know what." He remembered being in the basement before falling down the steps, it must be down there. He opens the basement door seeing a little less than five inches of water resting across the whole place. He walked down and then an item caught his attention. As soon as his eyes fall onto the thing it snapped into place. He ran down the steps and through the water picking it up and letting it drip for a few seconds. The two others were in the doorway looking at him. He could feel tears fill his eyes. He ran up the steps and  began carefully flipping through the pages. None of the lead legible anymore.

"Oh no. Oh no. No no no no no. This can't be it." He began crying. All his memories gone, just like that. Oliver and bartender stood by him. He could feel panic rise through him. How will he ever be him again, he doesn't even know why he can't remember. He doesn't know who this bartender is. Or why the memory of the storm scared him so much. He shook his head and eventually the bartender rest his hand on his shoulder and he leaned into it. The name Len popped into his head and decided that's who this man is. From the feelings he's got he likes this man as much as he does Oliver.

"I'm never going to get better, Len. What if I never remember why I can't remember?" Barry cried into his chest. The man deemed Len smiled, glad his name was remembered.

"Barry, you're going to be fine, we'll help you remember. You remember me, and Len right?" Oliver asks and Barry nods, "You remember you used this to remember." Another nod from Barry, "And you know you have memory issues right now." He finishes and Barry nods again.

"See. You got a lot so far." Oliver said and Barry smiled.

"I guess you're right. I don't need some diary." He said a complete 180 in his mood, it was shocking to see but he was glad Barry wasn't upset anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is trash. I'm sorry. I'll have an extra good chapter tomorrow. It's just I'm having difficulty making chapters in this one long, and detailed. I'll try to update this one first tomorrow so I'm not burnt out after writing the other fics chapters first.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fun day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have been kind of heavy the past so here is just some fun fluff.

Barry has been trying get himself to remember more by repeating things in full sentences, some days he'd wouldn't remember little things like not remembering why he doesn't have his notebook. Other days he wouldn't remember Len or Oliver, or working at CCPD. Right now he is laying on the couch repeating sentences over and over again, with Len clicking through the channels on TV. Oliver had to go back to Starling for Arrow business but promised to be back as soon as he can.

"Barry Allen got struck by lightning." Barry said while fidgeting with his hands. "Barry Allen got struck by lightning." He said again. "Barry Allen likes Yoga but hasn't gone in a long time." Len looked to him watching. Barry wasn't told he likes yoga, he's beginning to remember the first few days he was awake. "Barry Allen met Len at Jitters." Barry says now looking at Len, who just smiled at him, "Barry Allen likes Len." Barry said shifting around for a bit until his legs drape over Len's, and his arms wrap around Len's torso in a hug. Len let his arms pull Barry closer getting a small squeak from the smaller male. Len smiled getting an idea. He gently let his fingers trace invisible shapes on Barry's back before moving to his sides tickling him. Barry jumped up with another squeak and tried to stop Len's hands, but Len continued to tickle him pulling laughs and giggles from him.

"Len! Stop!" Barry laughed falling away from Len, back landing on the cushions wiggling and trying to get free, but Len leaned over him tickling his sides and stomach. Barry gasped for breath as he laughed hands scrambling to push strong hands from his sides. He pushes at Len's chest with his feet hoping to put distance between them feeling tears fill his eyes from laughing. Eventually Len stopped tickling his sides and Barry started calming down but Len took hold of his ankle and started ruthlessly tickling the bottom of his foot. Barry screamed trying to pull his foot away he set up to push at Len again. "Len! Ahh!" He squeals trying to gasp for air.

"You have to say the magic word." Len said as he began to tickle Barry's sides again and Barry tried to wiggle out of his grip but Len was much stronger than he and was stuck.

"Please! Len, please!" He begged with a giggle but Len didn't stop.

"I said to say the magic word. Not please." Len said and Barry squealed more.

"Th-the magic word." Barry managed and Len stopped. Barry pushed him and grumbled. "Len, that's no fair." He said his brows furrowed, his nose wrinkling and his cheeks puffed up, the same face Oliver showed him the other day. Len smiled seeing the strange adorable pout from Barry.

"What's not fair? That I tickled you or you thinking saying the magic word means say please." Len asked teasingly at Barry.

"Both." Barry said crossing his arms and not facing away from Len.

"C'mon, Barry. It was fun." He said and Barry shook his head.

"I just wanted to cuddle, but then you tickled me." Barry grumbled. Len sat up next to Barry who glanced over before turning away again. Len was about to start watching tv again when Barry grabbed the remote from him and turned the tv off.

"I was going to watch that." Len announced and Barry stood up.

"Well, now you can't." Barry was smiling now, clearly now in a playful mood because of Len. Len stood up to chase Barry but Barry sprinted off out of the room. He ran upstairs and went into his room and hid the remote on a shelf in his closet but then hid under the bed. He could hear Len's heavy steps walk in the halls and to his slightly ajar bedroom door. Len walked around the room before peering under the bed seeing Barry he smiled. Barry laughed and scrambled out from under the bed holding his hands behind his back pretending to have the remote. Len was blocking half the room so Barry ran around him and back down the stairs and waited by the stairs but out of side of them. Len followed and began looking for Barry in the living room then dinning room. Barry smiled watched him and then Len caught a glimpse of him and walked towards the hiding spot.

"Barry, I see you." He said and Barry laughed and tried to run around Len but was caught around his waist. He squealed again and then Len saw there wasn't anything in Barry's hands and shook his head. "Where's the remote Bear?" He asked and Barry shook his head trying to get out of Len's grasp. "I will tickle you again." He threatened and Barry squirmed before falling limp. Len almost dropped him but caught the sudden weight and shook his head hearing small giggles from Barry. Len set Barry on the ground, and that when Barry started crawling away. Len caught his ankle stopping him from getting further. Barry laughed trying to get away but was pulled back towards Len who was now kneeling.

He flipped Barry around so he was on his back, still holding his ankle. As Len was about to tickle Barry again, Barry gave a short loud scream as he tried to squirm out of Len's grip. Len stared at Barry for a second confused from the sound. Barry took this moment to get up and run back upstairs and jumped into the closet where the remote was. Len followed quickly seeing Barry go into his room and when he got there he saw the closet door shutting. He opened it to see Barry holding the remote hiding behind a jacket. He moved the jacket and saw Barry's small smile. He handed the remote over and Len took it then pulled Barry into a hug. Barry smiled and hugged in back. They both went back down stairs and sat on the couch again. Len sat down watching Barry as he laid down again but rest his head on Len's lap. Len carefully ran his fingers through Barry's hair watching an old kids show. Barry sighed attention moving to the characters on screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short also but I didn't want to drag anything on for too long. It would feel too forced. Sorry!


	18. Uh sorry bout this

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a bit. I'll try to push out some chapters tonight and tomorrow. I've just been busy packing to move and my sister lost and earring and I was helping her find it for like five hours. We didn't find it. In fact she lost the other while looking.

 

I'm gonna post this to my other stories that hadn't been updated on in more than 24 hours so if you read this one first you don't need to get excited about the others if you follow them as well.


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry's and Oliver spend a day together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want them to be happy, so I'm trying to make it less angsty. I think I'm going to end this one soon. I'll probably end with 21 chapters.

Barry decided that he and Oliver should spend a full day together while Len was with Lisa. Barry declared himself the planner of the day. He said they'd start with a movie, but he wasn't interested in any of the new ones in the theater so he said they'd watch an old one. Oliver nodded and they began deciding on a movie.

"I think we should watch the first Godzilla, it's so bad its good." Oliver said and Barry shook his head.

"If we are watching movies so bad they are good you know I have to vouch for flying spaghetti monster." Barry said with a laugh Oliver nodded instantly agreeing to the movie choice. They sat down and began watching, Barry laughing at the parts of the movie that were particularly stupid and Oliver laughing because of Barry's contagious laughter. They sat on the couch of Oliver's living room, he could remember how it felt before getting struck. It felt like a distant memory and in a way it is. But as he sat on the couch, the same way they used to. Oliver's feet propped up on the coffee table, Barry curled up against his side, head laying on Oliver's chest hands holding the loose fitting t-shirt with a huge blanket draped over them both. Barry felt nostalgic, he missed this. He feels so warm and safe here with Oliver. He hasn't actually step foot in starling city since that night he left without word.

Barry looks up to Oliver at one point during the movie and watches Oliver's facial expressions, he realizes he's one of the few people that don't get his mask, that he can see the emotions flicker across the blond's face. Oliver looks down noticing Barry was watching him and smiles. Right then Oliver felt Barry's hand slide up and latch into the back of his neck and pull him down. Oliver understood and closed the gap between them gently kissing Barry.

For Oliver it was nearly a year since they last kissed, for Barry it only felt likes couple months. Oliver held onto Barry tightly, he doesn't want to lose him again. He couldn't. He was so heartbroken the first time, thinking about Barry not choosing him make him feel sick. Barry pulled himself closer to Oliver, slotting their legs together and pressing their bodies against one another. As soon as Barry pulled away he continued to look at Oliver, not caring about the movie much. And Oliver did the same, looking down to the lanky brunette he knows he can't live without. 

When the movie ended they stayed in place for nearly an hour. Barry eventually stands up and stretches, Oliver following suit.

"Let's get lunch." Barry said and Oliver nodded knowing he could never actually tell him no. When Oliver is with Barry he barely recognizes himself, not that he changes for Barry, he just would do anything to keep the younger male happy. Oliver could feel his eyes brim with tears with the thought so he pulled Barry into a hug. Barry smiled against Oliver's shoulder and wrapped his arms around the other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me in the comments if I should keep it where it's at and write the three different endings next or try and keep it going.


	20. Work this out (Ending One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry tells them how he feels, and they agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first ending, Barry chooses to be with both Len and Oliver.
> 
> There will not be any sex scenes, unless otherwise asked for.
> 
> There will be as much fluff as a freshly picked afro. I don't know where that came from.

Barry could feel his heart beat heavily against his chest, like it could probably bruise a rib with the sheer force. He was sitting at the dinning room table, by now he had already told Iris and Joe about how he felt. And he was waiting for Oliver and Len, both minutes away.

\---

Four hours prior

\---

Barry dialed Iris and nervously listened the hum of the ringing.

"Hi, Barry. What's up?" She sounds so happy, it only makes Barry more nervous.

"So I wanted to talk to you about Len and Oliver." Barry started and Iris hums. "So you know that I was with Oliver before the lightning. And I'm sure you know, since I'm completely obvious, that I really like Len." Barry begins to explain.

"Yeah, haven't they been fighting? Well I guess they resolved it right?"

"Yeah, but I love them both, and well. I'm going to tell them I want to be with both of them." Barry spoke fast and held his breath as Iris was silent.

"Well, that's wonderful Barry! Is Oliver going to go public with it? I'm so excited for you!" Iris squealed.

"Do you think they will stay with me?" Barry asks.

"Of course, Bear! They love you too much. Neither of then would give you up, you're a catch Barry!" She scolds then laughs. "Are you going to tell dad?" 

"Well yeah. I'm not keeping my relationships secret anymore. It's not good for anyone. I'm going to call him right after this." Barry assured.

"That's great! Well I wont keep you. Bye Barry! Don't forget, I'm making you come to yoga tomorrow." Iris said, Barry bid her goodbye and hung up.

Barry sighed and smiled, he knew iris would support his choice but it's Joe that makes him nervous. He supports Barry in his being homosexual, and he likes both Len and Oliver, but he isn't sure how he would react to a non traditional relationship. Of course it isn't guaranteed that they both stay with him, but he's still going to inform Joe on his intentions. He takes a deep breath and called.

"Hey, Bear." Joe greeted.

"Hi, um I wanted to talk to you about Oliver and Len." Barry says obviously nervous.

"If they are fighting again, or if they hurt you I will sh-"

"No! I just wanted to tell you they are coming over soon because I am going to tell them I want to be with both of them." Barry said. Joe was silent for a bit making Barry tear up main worry that Joe wouldn't accept him.

"Barry-" Joe begins but Barry interrupts again.

"Sorry! I-I don't. I don't wan-want you to be disappointed. I just love them both, and I want to be with them both." Barry cried into the phone, and sniffled with more whines.

"Barry, I will never be disappointed in you for choosing to be happy. I will love you no matter your choice. If you choose to be with both of them, I support you.." Joe says, the warmth and sincerity of his voice made Barry smile, and instantly feel better.

"Really?" Barry asks hopefully.

"Of course, I love you Bear." Joe soothes.

"I love you too, Joe. Well, thank you. I've got to call Oliver." Barry said, getting a bye from Joe and hanging up again. He felt better about telling them both, he also settled on texting them rather than calling. To many nerve wreaking phone calls would make him scared of calling anyone ever again. He opened their group chat and typed out a message, hitting send before he could second guess the wording.

> **To: Len, Oliver**
> 
> **From: Barry**
> 
> **need 2 talk 2 u both. Don't worry its not bad, just get here fast plz**

And thus waiting for four hours.

\---

Present time

\---

He knew it would take a while for Oliver to get all the way back from Starling. Len said he would come after a while knowing Oliver would be a bit.

> **To: Barry, Len**
> 
> **From: Oliver**
> 
> **Almost there. 5 min.**

Barry recites what he is going to say to them in his head, the dining room table was shaking from him bouncing his leg. The door opens and Barry whips around looking through the living room to see who arrived. It is Len.

"Hi, Len." Barry greets but stays at the table. Len moves over and sits across from him at the table.

"Hi, Barry. We are just waiting for Oliver now." At exactly five minutes from is text Oliver walks in.

"Hi, Oliver." Barry said gesturing to the other seat across from him.

"Barry. Len." Oliver said taking the seat.

"Oliver." Len says to the other man with a nod. Both with a silent understanding of this might be when one is chosen and the other is left.

"Okay, so I want to tell you guys about me." Barry starts but shakes his head at the intro,  _nothing like we rehearsed_ , he scolds himself. Barry grabs one of Oliver's hands in his left hand, and one of Len's I'm his right.

"I very obviously love both of you, its no surprise to anyone. It was hard at the beginning when I didn't remember you at all Ollie, and when I needed to write every detail down to remember you, Len. But I know you two don't want to constantly fight for my affection. But what if- well- if I have an idea- I want to be with both of you. In a relationship." Barry sputters over words but when he finally gets the right ones out he looks to the two older, more broad men (Barry has a type) across from him. He can feel them both tighten their grip on his hands.

For a bit they look to each other, Barry can tell they wouldn't be in it for the other, just for Barry. But they knew they could share him, they have been for the past however many months.

"Yeah, I can. For you Barry." Len says with a smile, directed at the younger male. Barry's heart flutters, and he looks to Oliver hopefully.

"Of course Barry." He says with a nod. Barry let out an exasperated laugh. He can't stop himself from getting up and rounding the table to hug them. Neither of them hesitated to embrace him in return.

After a full conversation about how its going to work.

("I think we'll be fine." Len declares.

"You only say that because you are barely ten minutes away, I am ten hours away, Len." Oliver crossed his arms in a defensive tone.

"Don't fight! We've literally be together for all of five minutes." Barry huffed and rested his cheek on his hand, elbow resting on the table.)

Barry says they must go on a date. So Oliver found a fancy restaurant and made reservations. Len will drive. And Barry can't decide what to wear. He has been rummaging through his closet but couldn't choose a shirt, let alone a full outfit. Iris came up to help after she heard a frustrated yell.

"What's wrong Barry?" She said opening the door slightly, seeing clothes spilled across the floor and Barry face down on his bed.

"Ahcanfineamyfingtumare." The muffled mumbled made Iris laugh.

"I can't hear you through the bed." Iris said  making Barry turn his head to look at her.

"I can't find anything to wear." He whined before sitting up and tossing clothes around him in the air, showing his frustration.

"Why do you need something to wear?" Iris asks with a smile.

"Len, Oliver, and I are going on a date tonight."

"Really? Where?" Iris asked suddenly getting excited.

"I don't know, Oliver chose. But he did say dress nice." Barry looked at the clothes on the ground before sighing and face planting back into the bed.

"Well, I'll chose. You'll wear these socks with the black dress shoes." She starts tossing a pair of dark and light grey socks next to him. "This shirt, because purple brings the green out in your eyes. And these pants because they make your butt look good." Barry shipped around to look at Iris completely embarrassed.

"You look at my butt?" He asks exasperatedly.

"Of course, especially in those pants, no body was looking at aunt Cathy or uncle Don during their anniversary." Iris turning to leave the room, she paused when she dug through he piles of clothes and tossing a dark grey tie on the bed.

"Thanks Iris." Barry calls after her as she left. And he got dressed getting more and more nervous as he did so. Eventually he was waiting for Len to pick him up.

There was a knock on the front door, Barry stands up and walks to it opening it to reveal both Oliver and Len. Barry smiles at them for a moment. Oliver offers Barry his arm and Barry loops his arm through and when they are about to walk Len offers his arm as well.

In the restaurant after being seated Barry finally calmed down, he realized they may be dating officially now but that doesn't change any of them. They are the same two people he fell in love with so easily.

"Hello, I'm Ashley and I will be your server tonight. Can I start you boys off with anything to drink?" A brunette woman greets handing them each a menu. Before Len or Barry could say anything Oliver spoke up.

"We'll have a bottle of chardonnay," Oliver smiled "preferably 1999." 

"Okay, I'll be right back with that." She said and walked away.

"Why the whole bottle? That'll be expensive." Barry questioned flabbergasted at Oliver's antic.

"Only the best for you two when I'm around." Oliver smiled at Barry, then to Len who returned the smile.

"I don't know about you, Barry,  but I'll accept that." Len said before turning his attention to the menu.

"I guess, thank you." Barry said before doing the same. Ashley returned and Oliver poured them each a glass. They ordered while Ashley was there. When she left Barry looked nervous again.

"What's bothering you, Barry?" Oliver asks catching Len's attention. They both looked at him with worry.

"I-I don't. I don't know. I just can think of a way for all of us to be closer..." Barry says with a huff. "Like. Len loved Central City, its his home, and your sister is here. But Oliver loves Starling because that's  _his_ home and his sister is there. And I don't know what to do." Barry almost whines.

"Well, Barry, for you we can move to Starling. It sounds like a lot, we both have family here, but Oliver has more responsibility waiting for him in Starling. He is the Green Arrow. They have both bars and police stations for us. That and we never know when Queen will decide he wants to be mayor again." Len jokes getting a chuckle from Oliver.

"Ohmygosh Len! Your really do that?" Barry all but squeals in joy. Len nods coolly to the younger male. Oliver looks to Len thankfully. Knowing he couldn't complete abandon his families company, or his career as the green clad vigilante. Barry claps and sighs contently.

Hours after dinner the three males were talking more about the move, discussing the location, places of lowest crime rates, and places closer to the precinct and bars. Suddenly Barry couldn't help but notice it was moving really fast for the trio, but he couldn't care less. They were finally together. Finally complete, and the brunette decided after what they have already gone through they could work this out, no matter the obstacle.

* * *

_**fin (part I)** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been forever. I has just gotten settled into this house then everything went sideways.
> 
> My mother and her best friend bought this house together, but my mother has terrible credit, so just her friend name is on the papers. Before we all moved in they had n agreement to not date as it would make the whole situation complicated. The who shit with love and jealousy and crap. But then her best friend started getting interested in some woman. So now my mom is going to move out and to a town an hour away. She offered me, my brother, and his boyfriend to live with her there, but I hate that town. And I don't want to live here with him if he put my mom in this situation. So I'm going to buy a house with my brother, his boyfriend, and my best friend in my hometown 15 minutes away.
> 
> I have no idea when my life turned into a fucking episode of one tree hill but it did. And another thing. I'm going to have my name on the papers, so my brother and his boyfriend can't do that to me. But also because they are both really flaky so if I own the house and they will pay rent along with me until I own it then I will have them help with the bills.


End file.
